Boggsy:
The Giant:
Busey:
Friday, February 29, 2008
Greatest Drinker of Our Era?
Wade Boggs, Andre the Giant, and Gary Busey were already legends . . . before we found out about their precocious drinking habits. After delving deeper into their lurid backgrounds, it's tough to tell who was the most outstanding alcoholic. You be the judge America.
Boggsy:
The Giant:
Busey:
Boggsy:
The Giant:
Busey:
Rules Are Boring
Remember the good old days, when Taco Bell didn't have to worry about silly little "health department violations" for "rat infestations?" Well, I sure do. Nothing like a little TB to start your Saturday feeling fresh and fit. Back then, people didn't have to follow "the rules." You could still be considered a non-conformist, even though you were eating at one of the most popular food chains in the nation. But it didn't matter, because they still had three types of crispy tacos. Yep, those were the days.
ARE YOU READY FOR SOME FOOTBALL!
Very few songs have the ability to resonate with me so much that my bones rattle. While this is not one such song, I do admire the ability of Hank Williams (Jr.) to corner the Monday Night Football theme song market for nearly a decade (maybe a little less). Another interesting fact about this man? In 2006 he was arrested for the alledged assult of a woman in a Memphis hotel room. The case was later dropped. Another interesting fact about this man? He once broke every bone in his face during a freak mountain climbing accident. His brain was exposed to the open air. All the king's horses and all the king's men were eventually (9 surgeries later) able to put Hank together again.
Another Blog That Is Better Than This One
Grocery Eats is a blog that celebrates food by doing crazy shit with it and then eating it. Two examples of notes here are the BigMacChicken which is a low-carb combination of 3 McChicken sandwiches and one Big Mac, both from McDonald's. The photo below it is of a White Castle Burger being deep fried. Sounds amazing.Check out the blog. While we here at Disaronno blog are sitting on our asses writing about other blogs, these guys are actually out there in the world doing something.
Thursday, February 28, 2008
NYMag Hates Saving The Environment
According to New York Magazine's latest approval matrix, its writers think it's "despicable" to help the environment:
Shame on you, London, for trying to cut down on consumer waste. If we stop using disposable water bottles, what will we float on when the polar ice caps melt?
Darfur Victims Have Nothing On Joanna Cutler
I do not know how I am able to sleep at night when innocent rich people are suffering horrific inconveniences at the Plaza Hotel. How can the world just go about its day when Joanna Cutler was kept from her earthly conveniences for hours. I shed a tear for this poor woman and call for someone to set up some kind of fund in her name to prevent this from happening to any other idiots in the future.I also weep for something else. I weep for the paper, ink and energy used to write, print and deliver this story no one could possible give a shit about.
My wife, who's I-talian, got four DiSaronno bottles. She's classy like that.
Fuck the last picture, this one is way better.
Di Saronno Muckraker: Barrelling Down the Memory Hole
The New York Observer is a minor paper, and fitfully so. Whatever the retraction policies of its print edition, its Real Estate blog clearly lacks integrity on this front. It has failed to properly notify the public of a retraction, perhaps ignorant of the power of internets magic to unearth their manipulative deception.
Compare this post about Parker Posey selling her East Tenth Street apartment and moving to 30 Fifth Avenue with this google cache of the same page. The key difference is the following sentence:
"Surmounting the real estate slump and the writer's strike to move uptown... sounds like the stuff of Hollywood."
Clearly this "Real Estate blogger" knows nothing of NYC geography and is incapable of using finding an address on a map. 30 Fifth Avenue is at the intersection of Fifth Avenue and Tenth Street, you Real Estate Retard. Clearly the Observer has realized their mistake, but their failure to print a retraction only compounds my outrage. Parker Posey moved crosstown, yes, but nary a block uptown. Consider yourself DiSaronno Muckraked, Observer.
Compare this post about Parker Posey selling her East Tenth Street apartment and moving to 30 Fifth Avenue with this google cache of the same page. The key difference is the following sentence:
"Surmounting the real estate slump and the writer's strike to move uptown... sounds like the stuff of Hollywood."
Clearly this "Real Estate blogger" knows nothing of NYC geography and is incapable of using finding an address on a map. 30 Fifth Avenue is at the intersection of Fifth Avenue and Tenth Street, you Real Estate Retard. Clearly the Observer has realized their mistake, but their failure to print a retraction only compounds my outrage. Parker Posey moved crosstown, yes, but nary a block uptown. Consider yourself DiSaronno Muckraked, Observer.
Wednesday, February 27, 2008
When "The Dog's" Away, The Ice(heads) Come Out to Play
More than ever, crime in the 50th state has become more disgusting than an Ala Wai Canal cesspool after a flood. Violent crime is on the rise, as witnessed by a man trying to throw a security guard out of a 26th floor apartment. What could cause this spike in crime? No, it's not the warm weather. On the contrary, it's caused by ice. Apparently the following public service announcement did not reach Hawaii:
What does Hawaii need to combat this problem? Hawaii needs the hoarse words of wisdom of America's favorite bounty hunter. Yes, Duane Chapman's unique blend of tough justice, compassionate proselytism, and excessive cigarette smoking once graced the islands, and criminals were able to learn from their mistakes.
However, The Dog has been through some self-inflicted adversity. His comments brought on well-deserved castigation, causing A & E to cancel his show. The Dog was put in the position that his fugitives face, and was presented with the arduous task of achieving redemption through learning from his sins.
Luckily for Mr. Chapman, there were people who saw through his character flaws and were willing to give him a shot to regain his good name. It appears as though a growing number of people believe that he has changed. Perhaps more accurately, it should be recognized that Mr. Chapman's years and years of work repairing damaged communities in Hawaii and Colorado are a testament to the man's commitment towards social harmony.
It appears that A & E has undergone some change itself. The network has decided to give Mr. Chapman a second chance, once again unleashing the "Dog 'do" in the Sandwich Islands. Hopefully, Dog and his family-based team of bounty hunters can help teach some of the more troubled Hawaii residents that there is much merit to the term "cook rice, not ice."
What does Hawaii need to combat this problem? Hawaii needs the hoarse words of wisdom of America's favorite bounty hunter. Yes, Duane Chapman's unique blend of tough justice, compassionate proselytism, and excessive cigarette smoking once graced the islands, and criminals were able to learn from their mistakes.
However, The Dog has been through some self-inflicted adversity. His comments brought on well-deserved castigation, causing A & E to cancel his show. The Dog was put in the position that his fugitives face, and was presented with the arduous task of achieving redemption through learning from his sins.
Luckily for Mr. Chapman, there were people who saw through his character flaws and were willing to give him a shot to regain his good name. It appears as though a growing number of people believe that he has changed. Perhaps more accurately, it should be recognized that Mr. Chapman's years and years of work repairing damaged communities in Hawaii and Colorado are a testament to the man's commitment towards social harmony.
It appears that A & E has undergone some change itself. The network has decided to give Mr. Chapman a second chance, once again unleashing the "Dog 'do" in the Sandwich Islands. Hopefully, Dog and his family-based team of bounty hunters can help teach some of the more troubled Hawaii residents that there is much merit to the term "cook rice, not ice."
YouTube can't fix your washing machine
good thing you don't have one! but i do, in addition to a dryer and dishwasher and dinosaur egg incubator (what can i say, brooklyn is cheap). I was doing a free load of laundry in my apartment when I noticed extra water remained in the washing machine after a cycle. I googled around for an explanation/solution and stumbled across this website, which warranted my public dissemination. It's called fixya, and you can search it for a particular electronic item you're having trouble with (e.g. the model of your cell phone or espresso machine), or you can search for a problem that needs fixing (I typed in "washing machine clothes still wet"). There are "experts" who provide solutions to various problems, and it appears you can post new problems to get fixed. Now don't say i never gave you nothin!
oh, and I don't know what about the discharge makes it "funny."
Barack Obama: A Good Internets Celebrity
George W. Bush has been a terrible president, perhaps the terriblest. But he makes an outstanding internets celebrity. So the question arises: how does Barack Obama stack up as an internets celebrity? So far, the answer appears to be: quite well [internets webpage, internets video].
Tuesday, February 26, 2008
NOW That's What I Call DiSaronno Blog 1!
If there's anything that DiSaronno Blog is truly about, it's the alien forners and their electro-pop. With that in mind, DiSaronno Blog presents the first of its many instantiations in album form:
Track 1 - Robyn (Sweden) - Konichiwa Bitches
Track 2 - MC Leozinho featuring DJ Marlboro (Brazil) - Se Ela Dança eu Danço
Track 3 - Gameboy/Gamegirl (Australia) - Golden Ghetto Sex
Track 4 - Yelle (La France) - A Cause des Garçons (Tepr Remix)
Track 5 - Hanayo (Japan) - Joe Le Taxi
Track 6 - Amari (Italy) - Le Gite Fuori Porta
Track 7 - Muscles (Australia) - Sweaty
Track 1 - Robyn (Sweden) - Konichiwa Bitches
Track 2 - MC Leozinho featuring DJ Marlboro (Brazil) - Se Ela Dança eu Danço
Track 3 - Gameboy/Gamegirl (Australia) - Golden Ghetto Sex
Track 4 - Yelle (La France) - A Cause des Garçons (Tepr Remix)
Track 5 - Hanayo (Japan) - Joe Le Taxi
Track 6 - Amari (Italy) - Le Gite Fuori Porta
Track 7 - Muscles (Australia) - Sweaty
In Cougar News...
Some magazine I've never read nor cared about called More became my hero recently, kind of. It hosted a Fashion contest for real live cougars. Hot ones. I didn't really read the article about the show or the winner. I was busy trying to find more photos like this one. If anyone finds any photos or slide shows from this show, please post them in the comments section of this post. By the way, these chicks are 40+; they could own any of us.
"No Mom, DO NOT grab your nose. We'll be out of this crowd of brown Asians in a minute."
The winner so far... Keep 'em coming!
Tuesday Morning Caption Contest!
I thought this photo was cute.
Tuesday Morning Caption Contest!
I thought this photo was cute.
Monday, February 25, 2008
Gawker endeavors to cover Television Media, but too lazy or stupid to use a TiVo.
"Tina Fey hosted the first post-strike SNL this weekend. We didn't watch, obv,
. . .
we just caught it online, the way everyone else will)."
If you just saw it on internets, it's not really Television Media, you stupid fucks.
[LINKEROO]
. . .
we just caught it online, the way everyone else will)."
If you just saw it on internets, it's not really Television Media, you stupid fucks.
[LINKEROO]
Whose guarantee is better?
George Zimmer vs. Justin ("Joostin") Wilson: two men with iconic style and panache. Men known for the cachet of their guarantee. But whose guarantee is better? So far, George Zimmer has gotten a lot of attention on this blog, and for good reason. But what about Wilson, the late PBS proto-celebrity chef and original ragin' Cajun? This guy had some serious style. He practically schooled Colonel Sanders in his own look of the string tie. Can we really forget about him?
I leave it to you to decide:
I leave it to you to decide:
Who Am I?
I had a plum sized tumor removed from my nasal cavity.
I originally moved to Hollywood to pursue a music career with my band, The Rubber Band.
I have a son named Jake. He is an actor.
In December of 1988, I suffered a near fatal motorcycle accident. Doctors feared that the head injuries would give me permanent brain damage.
I once said that "drinking your own blood is the paradigm of recycling."
I am _______________ ?
Saturday, February 23, 2008
Laah Laugh Poooteen Part V
They exit bond street after purchasing a property. then fucking light a bomb in the basment and blow that shit to piss.
they ask themselves, “is this even bond street”?
“ we c foured that building can’t wait to blow out let’s jet off to cleveland; I'm really getting into this lifestyle and they've got new airports there.”
“Nobody likes condos. Whites have eaten out the pussy of the lower east side. And it is now a hollow corpse.”
my broker is a gemini filthy scum. that’s why i can’t sleep at night without burning newspapers . I hate eating cunts from little female babies.
alright i’m down but also kill some people and take over this whole crazy country that’s bounded by a bunch of rivers and oceans.\
Giant male clay figure tranny fucking dude enters.
“Hello fucking female eastern european slut. Let’s fuck, womanfellow!
then slapped across the cunt, they decided to take a train to slovakia and start a magazine and make love over the strewn pages of their past issues.
MAGAZINE MAGAZINE. Who can even read or eat or comprehend this stupid shit? I can’t wait to talk to Serbastian, that fucker, he slighted me before; I’ve already slaughtered his sad children.
How were you this good? i don’t remember this in prague. but things about this geography is that none of us can make eat pussy
That’s the thing about good old stories. Sometimes you can’t assimilate the moral. And the moral of this story is stop snitchin’ I learned that the hard way the hard is prison when the slide up against the bathroom tiles and make yourself sing love.
sense of it. We are all victims of the vocabulary of white people, which are the worst people. BLACK POWER! BLACK POWER!
I realize I’m black. I can’t believe I didn’t nuke Bond St. , only blew it up.
they ask themselves, “is this even bond street”?
“ we c foured that building can’t wait to blow out let’s jet off to cleveland; I'm really getting into this lifestyle and they've got new airports there.”
“Nobody likes condos. Whites have eaten out the pussy of the lower east side. And it is now a hollow corpse.”
my broker is a gemini filthy scum. that’s why i can’t sleep at night without burning newspapers . I hate eating cunts from little female babies.
alright i’m down but also kill some people and take over this whole crazy country that’s bounded by a bunch of rivers and oceans.\
Giant male clay figure tranny fucking dude enters.
“Hello fucking female eastern european slut. Let’s fuck, womanfellow!
then slapped across the cunt, they decided to take a train to slovakia and start a magazine and make love over the strewn pages of their past issues.
MAGAZINE MAGAZINE. Who can even read or eat or comprehend this stupid shit? I can’t wait to talk to Serbastian, that fucker, he slighted me before; I’ve already slaughtered his sad children.
How were you this good? i don’t remember this in prague. but things about this geography is that none of us can make eat pussy
That’s the thing about good old stories. Sometimes you can’t assimilate the moral. And the moral of this story is stop snitchin’ I learned that the hard way the hard is prison when the slide up against the bathroom tiles and make yourself sing love.
sense of it. We are all victims of the vocabulary of white people, which are the worst people. BLACK POWER! BLACK POWER!
I realize I’m black. I can’t believe I didn’t nuke Bond St. , only blew it up.
Friday, February 22, 2008
The commercial that started it all
As we near the end of Black History Month, it's important for us all to reflect on our roots. So here is the TV commercial whose irrepressible allure and spirit of bonhomie inspired Luigi DiSaronno, one day when he and I were sitting around drinking Paul Newmans*, to start this venerable blog.
As one commenter at YouTube remarks, "I still remember the first time I tried Disaronno..... ahhh it was a delight, and still is to this day." Amen.
*Newman's Own Lemonade and vodka
Thursday, February 21, 2008
Forget the sex, what about the constitution?
While both sides of the aisle (and even estranged members of the DiSaronno family) are bickering over John McCain's sex life, one important issue remains outside the conversation - the fact that Mr. McCain was not born a natural citizen and is therefore not qualified to be president. As this wikipedia article and this cowboy article explain, the Constitution only requires like 3 things to be president. It's probably why we've had so many shitty ones. One requirement is that the person be a "natural-born citizen," which isn't defined in the document but which is generally understood to mean anyone born within the fabulous fifty or an incorporated territory. Now, you're automatically a citizen if both of your parents are citizens (McCain's were) no matter where you're born. But there are two theories on how your citizenship is obtained, in a technical sense, when you're born overseas to US citizens:
(1) you're not "natural-born," but are instead "naturalized" automatically by virtue of your parents' citizenship. People who are naturalized citizens (or "Nizers," a slur i made up) are not eligible to be president.
(2) you're natural-born, because you're a citizen without having to fill out any paperwork. "Naturalized" citizens are those who have to earn it and be granted citizenship.
Why all the mystery, then? Turns out the issue has never come up and this portion of the constitution has never been interpreted by the Supreme Court. There are some pretty old legal theories to support each position, some latin terms like jus soli and jus sanguinis and blah blah i dunno i've only been to like half of my immigration law classes. But my prof said this could be a huge issue, and she teaches at NYU so believe that shit. If it does go to court, liberals trying to throw a wrench in the republican machinery should be careful of zealously advocating arcane interpretations of the Constitution...
That's right you plebe fucks: I'm powerful as shit and I like 'em blond and rich!
(a tale of three ladies)
Salon tells the sad story of Carol McCain:
But McCain was making bold career moves on the home front, hotly pursuing a 25-year-old blond [Cindy] from a wealthy Arizona family -- while married. Carol, his wife at the time, had once been quite a babe herself apparently, until a near-fatal car accident (while her husband was in Vietnam) left her 4 inches shorter, overweight and on crutches. The couple had three children, whom Carol cared for alone while her husband was in Vietnamese prisons.
The aforementioned richie/hottie/homewrecker, Cindy McCain:
Sadly for Cindy, blond and rich is now available in the younger, lobbyister variety:
The end? Not while John Sidney McCain III remains above ground!
Salon tells the sad story of Carol McCain:
But McCain was making bold career moves on the home front, hotly pursuing a 25-year-old blond [Cindy] from a wealthy Arizona family -- while married. Carol, his wife at the time, had once been quite a babe herself apparently, until a near-fatal car accident (while her husband was in Vietnam) left her 4 inches shorter, overweight and on crutches. The couple had three children, whom Carol cared for alone while her husband was in Vietnamese prisons.
The aforementioned richie/hottie/homewrecker, Cindy McCain:
Sadly for Cindy, blond and rich is now available in the younger, lobbyister variety:
The end? Not while John Sidney McCain III remains above ground!
Bermuda: A Retort to Firebird
This video was recently filmed in Bermuda. Firebird, get excited for what awaits you on your vacation!
I Want To Have My Ears Plugged
A lot of good things came out of the 80s. A lot of bad things came out in the 80s. One thing we can all agree on, however, is that there is only one truly abomidable music video whose stench, to this day, still rises above that produced by Britney Spears, Nickelback, and Chumbawamba: Blotto.
Please note that the video's storyline does not really begin until 32 seconds in.
Please note that the video's storyline does not really begin until 32 seconds in.
Prognosticating the Future
Many refer to baseball as America's national pastime. It's simple, classic, and timeless. Plus, everyone here in the US is already on steroids anyway, so it's easily relatable. Well we here at the Dblog have just unearthed a phenomenon that is certain to sweep our nation. That's right, we're talking about Kancho. Fine-tuned and widely spread throughout Japan, Kancho is the art of inserting your clasped index fingers into an unsuspecting rectum. Sounds fun, right? I mean who would honestly turn down a free colon inspection or take umbrage at the fact that a complete stranger feels the need to tickle your poo-hole? Not us here at the Dblog. We are equally opportunity hobby enthusiasts and support all cultural games, from indian burns to happy corners. Nevertheless, we feel quite strongly about the potential for Kancho in the States and are officially declaring that it will be the biggest foreign infusion into American culture since PF Chang's, David Beckham, and Sudoku . . . COMBINED! With its history of success among children and the existence of an already marketable video game featuring lovable characters ranging from prostitute to child molester, it's only a matter of time people. I mean, look how much fun these kids are having
Get your fingers ready ladies and gentlemen, because America is about to get probed!
Get your fingers ready ladies and gentlemen, because America is about to get probed!
Wednesday, February 20, 2008
Watch out, Harvard!
Here comes Nouveau Riche University! Actually, it's not clear if it's "University," or "College," or "Academy," or just plain "Nouveau Riche," but what's in a name? The more fronts, the more tax loopholes!
Overheard at in the LES
"Joe, are you serious?! GOD, I feel like im trying to explain trajectory motion to a mere child!"
Fuck the Lunar Eclipse, Mark Your Calendars for August 21, 2017
After being excited about tonight's lunar eclipse, I've learned (sadly) that lunar eclipses straight-up blow. Why?? Because who gives a fuck that the Sun is lined up with the Earth which is lined up with the moon so that the moon is briefly/partially not reflecting the light of the sun... New Yorkers go weeks without seeing the moon.
So mark your calendars, here's the real deal:
Bermuda!.............Bitches
When I brought up the possibility of going to Bermuda for the weekend, on a flight that costs only $217 round-trip including all taxes, all I heard was a bunch of whining. "It's too cold," they cried. "The water temperature won't be high enough," and "My vagina might get sandy," the bitching went on and on. Well, all I had to say was fuck that. I went ahead and bought a flight and, although most rooms or sold out, and the costs of lodging will probably outweigh the cost of the flight, I will see water this weekend. And not the water of some dirty river or harbor.
This water:
And, there will be girls in Bermuda. And not some pasty girl wearing all black chain smoking cigarettes outside of some horrible bar that smells like a bum's asshole.
Girls like this:
Who has money?
This water:
And, there will be girls in Bermuda. And not some pasty girl wearing all black chain smoking cigarettes outside of some horrible bar that smells like a bum's asshole.
Girls like this:
Who has money?
Dance or Die
Last night a few of the boys were able to get out and show our support for the American debut of Yelle. After a few shots of gin, a few high lifes, an order of fish and chips and a half bbq pulled duck sandwich later, I finally reflected upon how utterly spectacular this concert was. With the help of Luigi and Kerri, I will now attempt something no one has ever bothered to try before: retrospective live blogging. The concert went something like this:
6:44 P.M. - Arrive at Welcome to the Johnsons, give my ipod to the bartender to play for the entire bar. Sit next to a gentleman with an amazing mustache.
7:38 P.M. - Arrive at my apartment, get ready for the show (i.e. put on the most hipsterish outfit I own).
8:32 P.M. - After squeezing into my jeans, we squeeze into an equally tight cab. Cab driver, amazingly enough, speaks perfect english, and even suggests a shortcut that works to get us there faster.
8:46 P.M. - We arrive at the show. Kap10kurt is about to perform. They perform and it is pretty awsome. The venue does not have DiSaronno, so Luigi is forced to pour warm gin into his throat. Kerri joins in the fun.
9:52 - P.M. Anticipation is mounting for Yelle. Now there no space left anywhere, and there are a lot of people that do not appreciate me carrying 4 PBRs with me. It's 92 degrees and I still have my jacket and scarf on. I take off my scarf, never to see it again (Alexis, I lost it. It was NOT good looking out on my part).
10:01 - P.M. Silence. Then all of a sudden, Yelle jumps out on stage and starts singing Tristese Joie. The peasants rejoice. If you don't like her then you probably don't like life.
10:40 P.M. - It's hot as fuck in here. Don't know how much longer I can be in the front row. I snap a picture from my phone for good luck and head to get a cup of ice to rub over my face.
10:52 P.M. - I think there was shot of tequila sometime around here.
11:29 P.M. - Start heading out of the show. Decide to get a midnight snack at Grace (see the food items listed at the top of this post). Delicious.
Most Inappropriate TV Name Ever?
My thoughts were wandering last night after a few too many cocktails when I happened to stumble across some extraordinary knowledge hidden deep within my depraved mind. I was trying to be ironic for a cheap laugh when I started thinking about the TV show Growing Pains and the minor auxiliary character Richard Stabone. That's right, Richard aka Boner Stabone. Let's say that one more time: Boner Stabone. In all my years of television viewing, I don't think I have ever encountered such a shockingly inappropriate nickname for a TV character on a family-targeted show. Blows my mind. How the hell did you let that one slip by you Alan Thicke? The world may never know . . .
Tuesday, February 19, 2008
New England Patriots' clothing ends up in Nicaragua
The NFL donates this clothing to benefit the less fortunate, but these people would benefit more by putting these shirts on eBay.A Proud Moment for Australia
Bonus Caption Contest for the above picture.
Australia has long been known as the underappreciated step-brother of both the U.K. and the U.S.A. Sporting emerging bands such as Muscles and the Midnight Juggernauts, the country has the ability to make people of all shapes and sizes get ready for the floor. Equally impressive has it been in producing good film and actors giving the world such actors as Mel Gibson (pardon his racism and alcoholism), Nicole Kidman, Naomi Watts, and Heath Ledger (R.I.P.).
It came as no surprise, then, when last year I unearthed what I can only call the sleeper for best film ever (forget Citizen Kane, Casablanca, Apocalypse Now, and Point Break): yes folks, I am talking about Aussie Park Boyz.
As the poster shows, this film has it all (except for and third, and, debatabley, a fourth comma for the tagline), including a cameo by Duane "The Dog" Chapman (FYI - after several viewings, this cameo appearence has yet to be spotted by myself, or any other viewer thus far). You will note, incidentally, that the plot synopsis is empty on the film's IMDB page. This is not by mistake. If the film had a plot, there would be a synopsis. Much like this blog, it appears to be an amalamation on incoherence, though in the case of Aussie Park Boyz, this train of stupidity takes on the form of fight correography and a tale of love.
One viewer's commentary seems to sum up the movie quite well:
"I have been analyzing Aussie Park Boyz, and figured out what is so strange about it. Most movies do not so vividly recreate the fight frequency of video games. Think about Fists of Fury, Double Dragon, etc. You fight about 5-10 bad guys, move on to the next screen, then fight 5-10 more, with absolutely no story of why you are fighting them. On top of that, there is always extremely intense music playing in the background of these video games. That is Aussie Park Boyz, only you are not controlling the main characters, so it’s just frustrating." (taken from Cinema Strikes Back).
Much like Sean Connery's masterpiece Zardoz, I found it very helpful to read about the film before viewing, and then again after; only then can you fully piece together what you have just viewed, and only after this can you fully appreciate how much of a waste of time watching this movie actually was. So go on, pick this movie up at your nearest rental agency (or anywhere that actually has a copy of it) and dig in.
Sunday, February 17, 2008
General Announcement
Readers of DiSaronno Blog:
Your friendly neighborhood gelatto shop has finally picked up on a magnificent trend. Il Laboratorio Del Gelato, of Orchard Street fame, has now added an Amaretto Crunch flavor to their delectable arsenal of frozen treats. Now, I am usually not one for sweets, but this was too tantalizing to pass up; if you find yourself in the neighborhood, please do stop by Il Laboratorio Del Gelato and wolf down as much gelato as you can.
Your friendly neighborhood gelatto shop has finally picked up on a magnificent trend. Il Laboratorio Del Gelato, of Orchard Street fame, has now added an Amaretto Crunch flavor to their delectable arsenal of frozen treats. Now, I am usually not one for sweets, but this was too tantalizing to pass up; if you find yourself in the neighborhood, please do stop by Il Laboratorio Del Gelato and wolf down as much gelato as you can.
Overheard at the Met
"Look, this looks like Star Wars, but black!"
Woman looking at a Comme de Garcons dress.
Woman looking at a Comme de Garcons dress.
In Rainbows. Literally.
Among nature's most vibrant and memorable phenonomena is the rainbow, caused by the dispersive refraction of sunlight through droplets of water suspended in air. It
is also probably the coolest natural optical illusion besides St. Elmo's Fire. A bridge between the human and godly realms of Midgard and Asgard in Norse mythology, a colorful pathway to this guy on the right's 401K, anti-deluvian biblical covenant between God and Noah (but apparently not FEMA), and fantabulous symbol of gay pride and acceptance everywhere, the rainbow across pretty much all cultures and social histories is pretty awesome.
So what? I'll tell you so what. I woke up this morning and there was a rainbow on my ceiling. It is probably the coolest thing I have ever seen on my ceiling. Here are a few pictures:
Anyone else out there have any cool rainbow stories? Please feel free to throw on some Sigur Rós records and share.
is also probably the coolest natural optical illusion besides St. Elmo's Fire. A bridge between the human and godly realms of Midgard and Asgard in Norse mythology, a colorful pathway to this guy on the right's 401K, anti-deluvian biblical covenant between God and Noah (but apparently not FEMA), and fantabulous symbol of gay pride and acceptance everywhere, the rainbow across pretty much all cultures and social histories is pretty awesome.So what? I'll tell you so what. I woke up this morning and there was a rainbow on my ceiling. It is probably the coolest thing I have ever seen on my ceiling. Here are a few pictures:
Anyone else out there have any cool rainbow stories? Please feel free to throw on some Sigur Rós records and share.
Friday, February 15, 2008
Damn The Blue Man, Save The Astor!
The Astor Place Theatre is an architectural/historical gem. How gem-y you ask? So gem-like that no modern photograph can capture The Astor in its overflowed and nekkid glory (I had to settle for this old-timey print). The Astor is so fantastic that it diminishes pretty much every building in the city by comparison. Shames them. Yet The Astor Place Theatre is enslaved by purveyors of bad art: The Blue Man Group.
But you defend these blue philistines. Have I ever seen The Blue Man Group perform, you ask? No I have not, but I believe that my taste level is high enough to judge a thing without having even ever given it a chance. If you believe this to be so too, you should join my jihad. Damn The Blue Man, Save The Astor!
And the winner is...
The readers of DBlog have decisively chosen There Will be Blood as their favorite among this year's Oscar nominees for best picture. Probably a bad omen for that film. Thanks to everyone who voted. Those of you who aren't voting in these polls--what the hell is wrong with you? Can't we get more than 20 responses?
Early 90s Poll
Which video do you like more? Which reminds you of an episode of Fresh Prince?
or...
Pretty close race.
or...
Pretty close race.
Tony Danza vs. Big Bird
While this sounds like it could be a contest of various sorts (battle of wits, conversation ability, looks), it logically follows that they would settle the score through tennis. Please note this match was brought to you by the DiSaronno Blog's headquarter bar, Hi Fi (hi-tech commercial inserted right before the serve):
Congrats on a fine showing for mankind, Tony. And next time, don't blame your loss on the fact that you weren't playing with a ball.
Congrats on a fine showing for mankind, Tony. And next time, don't blame your loss on the fact that you weren't playing with a ball.
Nature's Phenomenons: The Salton Sea
The Salton Sea is a large (375 square mile), saline, bel0w-sea level body of water in Southern California. Although the original Salton Sea dried up centuries ago, the current Salton Sea is result of a man-made environmental failure; the Salton Sea was originally filled when an irrigation route of the Colorado River sprung a leak and flowed unchecked into the Salton basin region for almost 2 years. Despite its inauspicious beginnings, it has since become a local landmark as a bird sanctuary, catering to over 400 species of birds. Debates on how to maintain the vitality of the Salton Sea remain heated between several organizations. Equally contraversial is the 2002 film that takes its name from the famous sea, starring Val Kilmer and Vincent D'Onofrio. The film takes an in depth look at the struggles of a lonely meth user in his natural environment. When pushed into a fight or flight situation, this specimen reacts instinctively to protect what is most dear to him. See below:
Thursday, February 14, 2008
White People are Lame
I came across another blog recently (one superior to this one in every way), that gave a rundown on how to get more street cred. I need it desperately. It's a simple list documenting stuff you shouldn't do or like, if you want to be "down with it" (see that, eh, I'm picking up the lingo). I hated Juno, so that definitely makes me less white. I am not a lawyer - that's two points. I fucking hate dogs and their owners. And I don't live by the beach. I'm as gangsta as they come. If you want to get fresh and ditch tha cracker ass crackers, check this sizzite out:
Street Cred for Dummies
If you don't run marathons, have a tv, are not vegetarian, and don't know how to snowboard, you're on your way. Stay black.
Street Cred for Dummies
If you don't run marathons, have a tv, are not vegetarian, and don't know how to snowboard, you're on your way. Stay black.
What the Kids Are Wearing
Lawyer/Hipster Wannabe Luigi D has a new fashion statement going. If you're think you're cool, despite what everyone else says, you've caught on and rocked your own stylez.
Future Happenings with "Steve" Stevelson
Yes. Hello! This is "Steve". Remember me from 2008. Except now I come from the future. Many things have happened since before it became this way. Let me give you the initial download on this whole situation. To begin with, here is a picture of my gyrocopter (as a background to this whole situation, I'll mention this: "The gyrocopter has become the typical mode of transpo since mid-July 2008. Most of the tourists have been riding these japanese knock-offs of gyrocopters since circa '09, but mine is a kit that I bought from Disaronnoblo (henceforth referred to as the "Company" or "Blog") after it became a main online commercial hub for light, non-fixed wing aircraft. Surprisingly the staff of the original Company all died of fagotry according to the Mayan Calendar:
not!
Fool's Gold with Matthew McConaughey and Kate Hudson: a film to watch.
That was when gyrocopters were really "taking off" and so a few people saw an opportunity to capitalize on the Blog's cache. Bidding wars ensued and the Blog briefly sunk deeply into a fiscal quagmire......" The picture I promised you:
That's me, "Steve", in my dual-spinner gyrocopter. Fly so high in the sky gyro gyro. You know who you are gyrocopter. Yeah you have the dual-spinners. Go gyrocopter go go go gyrocopter. "hey, steve." "yes?" "it's me the gyrocopter in the air above." "what can i do for you?" "ride me. ride me hard in the future. 2047 is extremely up to date in terms of modern flying machines
So anyway, as I was mentioning that I'd been quote as saying before, "The Blog's original staff member got eaten by baboons!
not!they committed mass suicide:
that was a silly, thing to do, guys!
Getting back to the here and now {or should I say the future (now)!}
I was able to pick one person to join me in my gyrocopter when I took the original transcontinental flight to the Future after some trial runs during which I managed to make quite a few neighbors unhappy due to the surprising noise.
At this time, I had come to be fairly close relationship-wise to Matthew McConaughey because he was in Fool's Gold which I liked. He appreciated that because only now in the year 2047 do people really appreciate that Fool's Gold was more about just treasure than anything whereas before it was perceived as anything but.
Fool's Gold with Matthew McConaughey and Kate Hudson: a film to watch.Wednesday, February 13, 2008
SpaLIta-ites Smoking Pipes ... Filled With Crack
From the archives of Coneyislandist, April 21, 2006:
Jay Grosshandler, a senior at New York University, does not smoke cigarettes. In fact, he thinks cigarette smoking is kind of a dirty habit.
But every few nights, he and his friends share a crack pipe at Crack Den, a bar a few blocks south of his apartment, drawing in crack cocaine that sizzles as it burns and gives the air a dirty, enveloping warmth.
"I came opening day last year, and I've been coming ever since," said Mr. Kleinhandler, a performance artist. "I'm not addicted or anything. I always come with other people, and we smoke one gram in an hour. It's just a nice way to relax and be sociable."
Crack dens have been cropping up in urban ghettos for many ears. Now, the residents of Spanish Little Italy, New York’s hottest new neighborhood, are discovering their appeal. Bars that once featured billiards and darts are now remaking themselves into crack dens, with new names like Cracked Out, Crack at Dawn, and Pass the Crack.
In the 1980s and 90s, crack cocaine was seen as a scourge on society, but these days SpaLIta denizens view it as cool (even if health officials disagree) because it epitomizes “bleak chic,” the aesthetic and all-encompassing ethos that is associated with this trendy area. Moreover, the fact that these hipsters (and, often, ripsters) are smoking socially in crack dens means they are always sharing and so inhaling less than they would with a full-blown, solitary crack habit.
And if there is a whiff of illegality, it may be because crack cocaine is indeed illegal, perhaps the most taboo of all narcotics, carrying with it a serious social stigma and, when users are caught, huge prison sentences.
Many observers wonder whether SpaLIta users really see crack as a good smoke, or a fashionable pose. But the smokers themselves say they use crack for the high, not to seem cool.
"You can come here and get insane-high, like shit-your-pants high," said one user, a performance artist who wished to remain anonymous. "And you get home feeling filthy, stinking of the rock. It’s sexy."
Jay Grosshandler, a senior at New York University, does not smoke cigarettes. In fact, he thinks cigarette smoking is kind of a dirty habit.
But every few nights, he and his friends share a crack pipe at Crack Den, a bar a few blocks south of his apartment, drawing in crack cocaine that sizzles as it burns and gives the air a dirty, enveloping warmth.
"I came opening day last year, and I've been coming ever since," said Mr. Kleinhandler, a performance artist. "I'm not addicted or anything. I always come with other people, and we smoke one gram in an hour. It's just a nice way to relax and be sociable."
Crack dens have been cropping up in urban ghettos for many ears. Now, the residents of Spanish Little Italy, New York’s hottest new neighborhood, are discovering their appeal. Bars that once featured billiards and darts are now remaking themselves into crack dens, with new names like Cracked Out, Crack at Dawn, and Pass the Crack.
In the 1980s and 90s, crack cocaine was seen as a scourge on society, but these days SpaLIta denizens view it as cool (even if health officials disagree) because it epitomizes “bleak chic,” the aesthetic and all-encompassing ethos that is associated with this trendy area. Moreover, the fact that these hipsters (and, often, ripsters) are smoking socially in crack dens means they are always sharing and so inhaling less than they would with a full-blown, solitary crack habit.
And if there is a whiff of illegality, it may be because crack cocaine is indeed illegal, perhaps the most taboo of all narcotics, carrying with it a serious social stigma and, when users are caught, huge prison sentences.
Many observers wonder whether SpaLIta users really see crack as a good smoke, or a fashionable pose. But the smokers themselves say they use crack for the high, not to seem cool.
"You can come here and get insane-high, like shit-your-pants high," said one user, a performance artist who wished to remain anonymous. "And you get home feeling filthy, stinking of the rock. It’s sexy."
PETA ad campaign: NYC's response
The Department of Health is giving away free condoms tomorrow (Valentine's Day) to promote the new look of the NYC Condom. And also to promote safe sex. Seems that "street teams" will be passing out free condoms around the city at rush hour, including Union Square in Manhattan, the Atlantic Avenue station in Brooklyn, and 149th Street and Grand Concourse in the Bronx. Cougar hunters should set up perches.
-Special thanks to L-Murder, DBlog's city government insider.
HAIKU contest
Since the caption contest is getting a little too easy, DiSaronno Blog is going to put a few twists:
1. You have to watch a video, which debatabley takes more time than looking at a picture
2. Your caption must fit into a haiku.
Winner will receive a cup full of frozen green tea.
New Product for the Kids
As a way to ease children into a magical adulthood riddled with substance abuse, ILoveBlow is attempting to corner the market with a revolutionary energy drink. What other product can take you through the motions of doing drugs without the hastle of heart palpitations, intense sweating, and jaw grinding? None!! If offering valuable years of practice weren't enough, the makers of ILoveBlow still find the time to offer service with a smile. Don't believe me, then just check out their automated voice message:
"If you're calling to complain about how blatantly and socially irresponsible we are, hang up, get off your knees, and pray for our souls."
Wow, practical and courteous! That's what I call a business.
"If you're calling to complain about how blatantly and socially irresponsible we are, hang up, get off your knees, and pray for our souls."
Wow, practical and courteous! That's what I call a business.
First Thing's First ("Steve"'s Early Morning Blogshow)
Hey kids! 
"Ewwwww...gross. It's "Steve"!"
"Very funny. Welcome to my Eaarrlllly Morning Blog -- 'So Early, it's Almost Late!'
"Ewwwww...gross. It's "Steve"!"
For our first blog, we're going to talk about Baboon Asses.
"You're a homo, "Steve"!"
I'm Starting a Band: Jesus Christ and the Filthy Cunts
As originally posted on Coneyislandist (The Lost Treasure):
We are a band in the sense that we band together. Because we have no instruments or talents we do not play music. We are Jesus Christ and the Filthy Cunts.
Book us for your party and we will show up and hang out and mingle. We will sell tee shirts.
Our "songs" have no lyrics or music, but they do have titles. Here is the tracklist from our new album, "Man Milk":
1. Jasper the Friendly Aborted Fetus
2. Bacardi & Cola (the Speedball Mix)
3. Kung Fu Fist Fuck
4. Jesus Christ (Loves the Cock)
5. Strap-On Mary Magdalene
6. Familial Chernobyl
7. Dawwwwwg!
8. That 70's Song
9. Placenta Lunch Special
10. Native American Genocide (Historical Revisionmix)
11. Murray Hill Frat Dudes
12. Questionable Brown Liquid
13. The Hoodie Song
We are a band in the sense that we band together. Because we have no instruments or talents we do not play music. We are Jesus Christ and the Filthy Cunts.
Book us for your party and we will show up and hang out and mingle. We will sell tee shirts.
Our "songs" have no lyrics or music, but they do have titles. Here is the tracklist from our new album, "Man Milk":
1. Jasper the Friendly Aborted Fetus
2. Bacardi & Cola (the Speedball Mix)
3. Kung Fu Fist Fuck
4. Jesus Christ (Loves the Cock)
5. Strap-On Mary Magdalene
6. Familial Chernobyl
7. Dawwwwwg!
8. That 70's Song
9. Placenta Lunch Special
10. Native American Genocide (Historical Revisionmix)
11. Murray Hill Frat Dudes
12. Questionable Brown Liquid
13. The Hoodie Song
Tuesday, February 12, 2008
Coneyislandist: The Lost Treasure
Legend has it that the greatest blog of all time was called Coneyislandist. Traces of this Atlantis of cyberspace have been rumored to exist in bits and pieces across the Internets, but the remains are fragmentary at best and leave a great deal to the imagination in trying to recreate the magnificence of this mythical blog, the splendor of whose riches is said to have overwhelmed its visitors.
That's why I'm thrilled to announce that Luigi and I have stumbled upon a treasure trove of Coneyislandist material thought to be lost forever to the world. (Pictured above is just one example, a representative sample of Coneyislandist's beautiful, trailblazing design.) While we initially considered cashing out and selling our find to private collectors for sums as high as $10,900,000,000,052.74, we thought we owed it to DiSaronno Blog to share this cultural landmark with you. So we'll be posting excerpts as we see fit over the next few weeks. We know you all share our great excitement at this incredible boon for mankind.
A note to "anonymous" commenters
We know who you are. With our sophisticated technology we can track down your servers and your families. Think twice before posting an inane comment. We will not hesitate to take punitive measures where necessary.
Today's News in Cougarville
I was unaware that men who date cougars were called cubs. I find that slightly emasculating, so I am just going to refer to guys with like-minded interests as Bears. I had the chance today to peruse a couple of websites dedicated to finding cougars. They both seem a bit creepy but, you know, I'm so desensitized these days it's gotta be completely bananas to get me there.
Sketchy speed dating (a good deal nevertheless)
Awesomeness
Who the hell voted for Michael Clayton??
I'm starting an open thread re: our Oscar poll. All comments are welcome.
A Word from Our Sponsors
More greats moments in DBlog's Google AdSense campaign. This one from just a few minutes ago:
Body Detox & Cleanse
Doctor explains how to detoxify body and colon. See the photos!
Body Detox & Cleanse
Doctor explains how to detoxify body and colon. See the photos!
Constipation – common sign of a toxic colon
The most common sign of a toxic colon is chronic constipation. Constipation is commonly defined as a condition where the fecal matter is so tightly packed together that bowel movements are infrequent and incomplete, causing much difficulty and straining, and producing dry, hardened feces. The accumulation of this old, hardened feces sticks to the walls of the colon, inhibiting its proper function of absorbing the remaining nutrients. Instead it is forced to absorb the toxins from the build-up and fight the parasites that make this debris their breeding ground. The passage through which the feces are forced to travel is also greatly reduced in diameter so the stools become much narrower, even as thin as a pencil sometimes. In our society, bowel movements of the chronically constipated may be looked upon as normal. But going to the bathroom once every few days, sitting there straining for half an hour and passing black, hard pebbles that drop to the bottom is not only abnormal, it is also serious trouble waiting to happen.
With Malice Toward None; With Charity For All, I Want To Take You To the Gay Bar
Happy 199th Birthday, Abraham Lincoln. We miss your legendary honesty. Courtesy of La Mongoosette, check out our greatest President's second inaugural address. For comparative inferiority of rhetoric, take a look at Slate's comprehensive collection of Bushisms that make Yogi Berra sound like Marcus Tullius Cicero.In cinema news, Steven Spielberg's next film will be a biopic of our beloved sixteenth President. One of the screenwriters is prominent presidential scholar and Harvard Professor of Political Science, Doris Kearns Goodwin, married to former presidential speechwriter for the Kennedy and Johnson administrations, Richard Goodwin. Sound promising? The other writer is Pulitzer Prize-winning playwright Tony Kushner of Angels in America fame. Oh, and Liam Neeson is rumored to play Honest Abe.
All that said, no man is a god, nor should we worship any as one. To help reinforce this caveat against idolatry, watch Electric Six's uncensored music video for "Gay Bar" and try to maintain that untarnished image of Abraham Lincoln in your head.
Live Blogging From Work
This is not nearly as entertaining when pictures and TV are not involved.
10:38 A.M. - Go to the printer to pick up a print job. I'm kind of chilly.
10:52 A.M. - I need to go to the bathroom. I finally put on my dress shoes.
11:02 A.M. - Coworker closes door to his office so that he can change out of his jeans.
11:08 A.M. - Watch this homemade video, and wish it were as good as the song:
11:14 A.M. - Turn an offer to go for a walk outside. It's freezing out there.
11:15 A.M. - Converse with Mark Gastineau.
11:16 A.M. - Conference call with Tyko McGee.
11:19 A.M. - Stop live blogging.
10:38 A.M. - Go to the printer to pick up a print job. I'm kind of chilly.
10:52 A.M. - I need to go to the bathroom. I finally put on my dress shoes.
11:02 A.M. - Coworker closes door to his office so that he can change out of his jeans.
11:08 A.M. - Watch this homemade video, and wish it were as good as the song:
11:14 A.M. - Turn an offer to go for a walk outside. It's freezing out there.
11:15 A.M. - Converse with Mark Gastineau.
11:16 A.M. - Conference call with Tyko McGee.
11:19 A.M. - Stop live blogging.
Part Devil . . . Part Legend . . . All Man
I just recently stumbled across probably one of the most offensively-titled movies ever to slip past the MPAA. That's right ladies and gentlemen, I'm referring to that cinematic gem called Boss Nigger. Back in the day when paint still had lead, the internet only existed in Al Gore's head, and racism was apparently hip, movies like Boss Nigger only garnered PG ratings. I suppose Americans had thicker skin back then.
Delving deeper into this issue, I wanted to discern whether or not this PG label was valid. Using Youtube and Wikipedia to conduct my scholarly research, I came across some inconclusive evidence. According to the scant plot summary on Wikipedia, two black bounty hunters make themselves sherriffs in a new town because there isn't a sherriff and they're black so everyone is afraid of them. What? The trailer on Youtube didn't provide much more information either. The only facts I could deduce were the following:
1) Figthing was very, very cool/fun
2) No one knew how to aim a gun
3) A lot of people were shot (including one in the hand)
4) The world used to be dustier
5) There were no black people in the West before 1975
6) You don't need a developed plot line to write a movie if you have an ex-football player as your lead actor/writer
7) You can still be a whole man as long as you are only part legend and part devil
8) A moustache is the quickest way to intimidate someone
9) Racial epithets will cost you $20 or 2 days in jail (rates have obviously been adjusted with current market trends and basic inflation over the years)
10) Horses never get shot
So after much careful deliberation and research, I think it's pretty clear that this movie is suitable for a PG viewing audience. From a historical and cultural context, few films can match the authentic savvy of this picture. In addition, the bold panache of Williamson will surely captivate your children and teach them valuable lessons about justice, racial differences, and legends/devils. Pick up a copy today!
Delving deeper into this issue, I wanted to discern whether or not this PG label was valid. Using Youtube and Wikipedia to conduct my scholarly research, I came across some inconclusive evidence. According to the scant plot summary on Wikipedia, two black bounty hunters make themselves sherriffs in a new town because there isn't a sherriff and they're black so everyone is afraid of them. What? The trailer on Youtube didn't provide much more information either. The only facts I could deduce were the following:
1) Figthing was very, very cool/fun
2) No one knew how to aim a gun
3) A lot of people were shot (including one in the hand)
4) The world used to be dustier
5) There were no black people in the West before 1975
6) You don't need a developed plot line to write a movie if you have an ex-football player as your lead actor/writer
7) You can still be a whole man as long as you are only part legend and part devil
8) A moustache is the quickest way to intimidate someone
9) Racial epithets will cost you $20 or 2 days in jail (rates have obviously been adjusted with current market trends and basic inflation over the years)
10) Horses never get shot
So after much careful deliberation and research, I think it's pretty clear that this movie is suitable for a PG viewing audience. From a historical and cultural context, few films can match the authentic savvy of this picture. In addition, the bold panache of Williamson will surely captivate your children and teach them valuable lessons about justice, racial differences, and legends/devils. Pick up a copy today!
"Steve" Stevelson's New Record
Hi. I'm Steve "Steve" Stevelson Steveston, and I made a music record in 1968 because back then people knew me as Steve "Steve" Stevelson Steveston the Stevedore or, alternatively, Stevedore Steve, or, alternatively, Steve the Stevedore ("the Musician"). Please listen to my new album from 1968. The best song as far as lyrics go is the one called Ghost Ships and also the one called Stevedore Stomper and Song of the Stevedore.
I was once quoted as saying this: "My first album was Stevedore Steve Songs of the Stevedore. My, that sounds interesting. Snore! But it's got some good songs on it. As far as I'm concerned it's bad. My voice was awful. Not quite laryngitis but just almost, like I was still audible, but in a hoarse sort of way. And so the voice is bad on it but the songs are good. I especially think the songs that are the best include Ghost Ships, Stevedore Stomper, Song of the Stevedore, Son of the Sea, Fishin' Boats are Back. In that order except for Stevedore Stomper is probably slightly better than Fishin' Boats are Back which is slightly better than the former. I'm telling you, my voice sounded pretty good actually now that I think about it. It's kindof intentionally bad because it's supposed to conjure up the sounds of a longshoresman (f.k.a. stevedore)! That's why they call my album Stevedore Steve Songs of the Stevedore because my name is Steve Stevelson Steveston the Stevedore."
Monday, February 11, 2008
"You can take a cab and skip two meals, or you can ride a bike and skip one meal..."
"If supermodels can't solve the world's problems, then I don't know who can."
A Word From Tyko McGee - The State of the Blog
Dear DiSaronno Blog,
STOP! Your comment battles for each post are both annoying and a wasted effort. You should be using your time to make more posts, not inane banter about each post. That is like smelling the jenkem for an hour; everyone knows that the jenkem loses its potency after the first huff, so don't sit there smelling your shit if it's not going to make you trip balls. I would love it if you could make more posts about The Wire, I love that show. Don't live blog anymore, because it makes me sad that I am not watching TV with you.
Love,
Tyko McGee
STOP! Your comment battles for each post are both annoying and a wasted effort. You should be using your time to make more posts, not inane banter about each post. That is like smelling the jenkem for an hour; everyone knows that the jenkem loses its potency after the first huff, so don't sit there smelling your shit if it's not going to make you trip balls. I would love it if you could make more posts about The Wire, I love that show. Don't live blog anymore, because it makes me sad that I am not watching TV with you.
Love,
Tyko McGee
FutureDeaths/ThugSounds
2008 marks not only the second leap year of the third millenium anno disaronno, the year the Great Black Hope Barrack Obama won his second Grammy Award for Best Spoken Word Album (which in my humble opinon should count as at least fifty electoral college votes), but also the fifth and final season of the best and baddest television series ever, The Wire. For anyone who feels the need to get pumped, even though this last season is sadly already more than half over, check out the official HBO trailer for Season 5. In keeping with the show's unapologetic investiga
tion into the ups and downs (mostly downs) of inner city drug trafficking, and perhaps in honor of Barack Obama's (less than) sparkly teenage years, or coincidentally Amy Winehouse's triumphant Grammy sweep in absentia, or some of Disaronno Blog members' favorite weekend vice, whoever put together this exhilarating video chose to use Duran Duran's bitchin' cover of "White Lines" by Grandmaster Flash. If this trailer does not make you even a little bit hard, you are doing too much of the rock n' rolla cola ("so don't do it!").
tion into the ups and downs (mostly downs) of inner city drug trafficking, and perhaps in honor of Barack Obama's (less than) sparkly teenage years, or coincidentally Amy Winehouse's triumphant Grammy sweep in absentia, or some of Disaronno Blog members' favorite weekend vice, whoever put together this exhilarating video chose to use Duran Duran's bitchin' cover of "White Lines" by Grandmaster Flash. If this trailer does not make you even a little bit hard, you are doing too much of the rock n' rolla cola ("so don't do it!").Without further ado, here are Le Mongoose's predictions for what will happen by the final season's season finale. Not all of these predictions are serious. Feel free to post colorful commentary.
- The long and winding friendship between Detectives Jimmy McNulty and Bunk Moreland will reach a breaking point, but one of them will die in the line of duty before either of them can reconcile his moral differences with the other.
- Bubbles will relapse, overdose, and become the symbolic rotten cherry atop the Sunday evening comedown that is The Wire.
- Baltimore Sun journalist Scott Templeton will be caught for his unethical bullshit. But that won't change anything.
- Michael will be killed on his corner by someone hired by his spiteful heroin-addicted mother; as a direct consequence, Duquan will transform into a ruthless killer. Either that, or Duquan will start using.
- Hopeful Democratic gubernatorial candidate Mayor Tommy Carcetti will get it on adulterously with City Council President Narese Campbell. Cop-turned-private investigator Herc will catch them with their pants down.
- Acting Police Commissioner Bill Rawls will finally be shown engaging in homosexual activity off-duty. Herc will catch him with his pants down.
- The once-puckish now-hardened Randy Wagstaff will meet, or at least catch a whiff of his birth father, quite possibly Method Man's character Melvin "Cheese" Wagstaff.
- Homicide cop-turned-math teacher Roland "Prez" Pryzbylewski will make a cameo and be instrumental in deciphering Marlo Stanfield's clandestine clockwork communications with Spiros Vandos.
- D'Angelo Barksdale will return from the dead and gun down all of East Baltimore.
- Stringer Bell will also return from the dead and arrange for D'Angelo Barksdale to be murdered. Again.
- Detective Kima Greggs will hit on Snoop at a gay bar.
- Reformed gangster/boxing coach Dennis "Cutty" Wise will somehow get into a fistfight with amoral scumbag attorney Maurice Levy and knock him out. (God, please let this happen.)
- Wee-Bey Brice will escape from prison and scare everyone shitless with his glare.
- OMAR LITTLE WILL RAPE MARLO STANFIELD. Literally or figuratively, either would be cathartic.
- Brother Mouzone will return to Baltimore from New York City and stoically watch Omar rape Marlo while quoting some witty columnist from Harper's.
- Upon hearing of Marlo's sodomization by Omar, Chris and Snoop will learn the error of their ways, give up on the violence of street life, and start a "Cold-Blooded Hitmen Anonymous" support group with the help of Walon. And then they will put out a Kirk Franklin-style album that will win the Grammy for Best Record of the Year.
Winner: While You Were Sleeping
Describe your sex life with a movie title. Winner gets a box of saltines and a pack of lamb-skin condoms.
Phoenix Doherty's Saturday Anthem
He interpreted the words far too literally, much to everyone's shock and extreme disappointment:
Sunday, February 10, 2008
Livephotoblogging Def Comedy Jam
It's like watching TV on your internets!
This guy made a joke about dogs.
This guy made a joke about phones.
This guy made a joke about how he looks like "a broke ass Lenny Kravitz," and he attributed his low number of "white people jokes" to his childhood spent in Denver, Colorado, where there are many white people.
This guy loves LA but not Chicago winters.
Here's a photo of D.L. Hughley and Russel Simmons:
This guy made a joke about dogs.
This guy made a joke about phones.
This guy made a joke about how he looks like "a broke ass Lenny Kravitz," and he attributed his low number of "white people jokes" to his childhood spent in Denver, Colorado, where there are many white people.
This guy loves LA but not Chicago winters.
Here's a photo of D.L. Hughley and Russel Simmons:
Friday, February 8, 2008
Who Am I?
I was born on June 13, 1953.
I have seven siblings.
On October 2, 1978, I was arrested for possession of 1.4 pounds of cocaine. To reduce my sentence, I ratted out several other drug dealers.
I was arrested for drunk driving in 1997.
I like to grunt.
I am Tim Allen.
24M seeking Perfect Mind
My wireless connection at home sucks. Since it's no longer 2004-5, those free years of unprotected network love, all the available networks i could log into are password protected. One of these is called "googlepuppyfucking." Instincts tell me this network above all others would be strong and broad, that the signal would cast as far as the good vibe.
Something about the name of the network gave me a funny feeling inside; it had to be a clue. The animal lovers who own this network must have a sense of sport, and know exactly what turns my propeller. I typed in "hot" and "hott" and "that's hott" and "sohotrightnow" but those were all too obvious. Is there someone out there who can crack this code and indeed allow me to google puppy fucking? i'll try your comments and post any results.
When You Walk Through the Garden, You Better Watch Your... D'oh!
Critic
s with hearts and diehard fans with brains have consistently and continuously crowned The Wire (broadcast by quite possibly the best channel ever, HBO) the greatest television series in the history of television. There is not a trace of my soul that disagrees. A word to the unwired wise: if you haven't watched The Wire, drop whatever you are doing now and go buy/rent/Netflix the first four seasons immediately. On the other end of the technicolor spectrum of television playfully prances The Simpsons (broadcast by quite possibly the worst channel ever, Fox), the longest-running syndicated sitcom in the history of television, and deservedly so. Upon a gla
nce, one might be quick to dismiss any thematic or generic similarities between the two shows and the respective creative teams of brilliance behind them. After all, one damningly examines the postmodern decay of the great - and very real - American city of Baltimore with an unprecedented degree/kind of scrutiny, at least in the medium of television. The other hilariously lampoons American society at large via the most dysfunctional nuclear family of all time, barring the Bundys, the Bushes, and the Glasses; time will tell if the Bluths survive unjust neglect. And they are cartoons.
"So what?", you may ask. These are two amazing television programs that are great in th
eir own respects, let's leave them be and mindlessly watch them and be entertained? No, this is not Guns N' Roses and Nirvana we are talking about here. But just as Axl N' Slash N' Co. shat on disposable pop metal with their gritty sleazy authentic rock n' fuckin' roll in the late 80s, thereby loosening the pickle jar for Cobain and Co. in the early 90s, social satire like The Simpsons and its countless imitators have most likely made an ingenious work of visual literature such as The Wire more palpable for its devoted viewers.
"How so?", you may ask. The Simpsons parodies almost every if not all facets of American life with a uniquely absurd brand of comedy that exaggerates all the flaws and qualities that make us human. Alternatively, The Wire strays away from parody and hyperbole, much like American television audiences on the whole from it. (Nielsen ratings signify nothing except what Bart is chasing in the above.) Moments of comic relief throughout each episode are rarer than true love - and just as precious - used sparingly as to help alleviate the audience's emotional reactions (or exposure of the lack thereof) to the overwhelmingly cold and sober sounds and furies of Dickensian life in Baltimore or any large American city today. Critics like The New Yorker's Margaret Talbot have praised David Simon and Ed Burns for being unabashed "authenticity [freaks]." In the valiant tradition of Thomas Nast, Jacob Riis, and Upton Sinclair, Simon and Burns opt for unpolished realism that, like the work of their predecessors, aims to effect genuine sentiment in lieu of cheap sentimentality. When executed perfectly, as the show has a most welcome habit of doing, The Simpsons has moments of unparalleled sentimentality that show that even the worst of times cannot break a loving family apart. Families are broken almost weekly on The Wire.
"So what the hell do these shows have to do with each other???", you may ask. The answer is simple, yet subtle. The writers behind both programs plead for their audiences to examine and re-examine their most obvious beliefs and values as we sit comfortably in front of our television sets by questioning, at times comically/bitterly cursing the socioeconomic institutions we take for granted in our beloved country. They achieve this by exposing the fundamental flaws inherent in any social institution, may it be schools, churches, the workplace, the d
rug culture of the street, or (cue danger music) our government. In particular, I suspect the creative minds behind both shows relish in exposing the most unfortunate shortcomings and failures of society's authority figures who (mis)lead their constituencies, (de)faults that often sprout from incompetence and undeserved or ill-gotten power. Take for example the institution of law enforcement. Police Chief Clancy Wiggum is, like nearly every Simpsons character, a grotesque American stereotype. He is addicted to donuts, dense when it comes to investigative work, fatter than Homer, and the proud father of the most adorably retarded child ever to grace the small screen. In the charmingly colorful world of The Simpsons, however, the disgraceful mistakes of police officers rarely have any lasting or tragic effect on the community of Springfield. In stunning contrast, Ervin Burrell (played by Frankie Faison of The Silence of the Lambs fame to nuanced perfection - like every performance in The Wire), the recently retired/ousted Police Commissioner of Baltimore on The Wire directly and indirectly complicates and ruins the lives of the downtrodden inner-city dwellers that once relied on the police for safety and security through his self-aggrandizing policies that trounce major criminal investigation and corruption among elected officials in favor of "juked" (i.e. falsified) statistics that maintain the farcical facade of public safety. Other parallel examples of failed, corrupt, or otherwise compromised character, and the results of such failed leadership include Mayor Quimby / former Mayor Clarence Royce, Fat
Tony / The Greek, The Blue-Haired Lawyer / Maurice Levy, Bart and Lisa and their schoolmates / the poverty-stricken students of Edward J. Tilghman Middle School (for heart-wrenching performances from truly talented young black actors, look no further than Season 4 of The Wire. But not before you watch Seasons 1, 2, and 3). Yes, there are a few good men (and women, like Lisa Simpson and Rhonda Pearlman) on both programs, noble characters who champion the "good" (along with its antithesis, a somewhat antiquated term for The Wire) and reform over "evil" and retribution. But in keeping with the spirit of the series - which in my mind will go down in history as the one and only show that never even came close to jumping the shark, not even in an ironic or "meta" fashion - , their efforts are routinely thwarted by the self-interests and survival instincts of everyone around them. Indeed, the only noble character on The Wire who exacts any laudable punishment on the drug-slinging blood-spilling gangsters throughout th
e series' Tolstoyian narrative is himself a violent vigilante thief who lives (and might die, although I pray daily that he won't) by a moral code only he can fully comprehend. Also, he is probably the coolest bruthafuckin' gay badass since Achilles. (Yeah yeah, today's concept of homosexuality is largely a nineteenth century social construction that would be foreign to ancient societies. I read Foucault at an Ivy League school too. Blow me. Then go blow yourself.)
Supported by a dizzying but most welcome cast of characters, The Simpsons and The Wire intelligently preach (without being preachy) that in this not-so-brave new world where Dostoyevsky's problem of evil vexes us more relentlessly every day, we would be fools not to examine the world and society in which we live with more daring souls. Fortunately for Homer, Marge, Bart, Lisa, and Maggie, each episode of their eponymous show reinforces the axiom that "home is where the heart is," and that at the end of the day, at the end of the night, hope and all the good things which spring forth from it can be found in the love of our families. The Wire offers no such easy path to a happy ending, but hey. It's all in the game.
s with hearts and diehard fans with brains have consistently and continuously crowned The Wire (broadcast by quite possibly the best channel ever, HBO) the greatest television series in the history of television. There is not a trace of my soul that disagrees. A word to the unwired wise: if you haven't watched The Wire, drop whatever you are doing now and go buy/rent/Netflix the first four seasons immediately. On the other end of the technicolor spectrum of television playfully prances The Simpsons (broadcast by quite possibly the worst channel ever, Fox), the longest-running syndicated sitcom in the history of television, and deservedly so. Upon a gla
nce, one might be quick to dismiss any thematic or generic similarities between the two shows and the respective creative teams of brilliance behind them. After all, one damningly examines the postmodern decay of the great - and very real - American city of Baltimore with an unprecedented degree/kind of scrutiny, at least in the medium of television. The other hilariously lampoons American society at large via the most dysfunctional nuclear family of all time, barring the Bundys, the Bushes, and the Glasses; time will tell if the Bluths survive unjust neglect. And they are cartoons."So what?", you may ask. These are two amazing television programs that are great in th
eir own respects, let's leave them be and mindlessly watch them and be entertained? No, this is not Guns N' Roses and Nirvana we are talking about here. But just as Axl N' Slash N' Co. shat on disposable pop metal with their gritty sleazy authentic rock n' fuckin' roll in the late 80s, thereby loosening the pickle jar for Cobain and Co. in the early 90s, social satire like The Simpsons and its countless imitators have most likely made an ingenious work of visual literature such as The Wire more palpable for its devoted viewers."How so?", you may ask. The Simpsons parodies almost every if not all facets of American life with a uniquely absurd brand of comedy that exaggerates all the flaws and qualities that make us human. Alternatively, The Wire strays away from parody and hyperbole, much like American television audiences on the whole from it. (Nielsen ratings signify nothing except what Bart is chasing in the above.) Moments of comic relief throughout each episode are rarer than true love - and just as precious - used sparingly as to help alleviate the audience's emotional reactions (or exposure of the lack thereof) to the overwhelmingly cold and sober sounds and furies of Dickensian life in Baltimore or any large American city today. Critics like The New Yorker's Margaret Talbot have praised David Simon and Ed Burns for being unabashed "authenticity [freaks]." In the valiant tradition of Thomas Nast, Jacob Riis, and Upton Sinclair, Simon and Burns opt for unpolished realism that, like the work of their predecessors, aims to effect genuine sentiment in lieu of cheap sentimentality. When executed perfectly, as the show has a most welcome habit of doing, The Simpsons has moments of unparalleled sentimentality that show that even the worst of times cannot break a loving family apart. Families are broken almost weekly on The Wire.
"So what the hell do these shows have to do with each other???", you may ask. The answer is simple, yet subtle. The writers behind both programs plead for their audiences to examine and re-examine their most obvious beliefs and values as we sit comfortably in front of our television sets by questioning, at times comically/bitterly cursing the socioeconomic institutions we take for granted in our beloved country. They achieve this by exposing the fundamental flaws inherent in any social institution, may it be schools, churches, the workplace, the d
rug culture of the street, or (cue danger music) our government. In particular, I suspect the creative minds behind both shows relish in exposing the most unfortunate shortcomings and failures of society's authority figures who (mis)lead their constituencies, (de)faults that often sprout from incompetence and undeserved or ill-gotten power. Take for example the institution of law enforcement. Police Chief Clancy Wiggum is, like nearly every Simpsons character, a grotesque American stereotype. He is addicted to donuts, dense when it comes to investigative work, fatter than Homer, and the proud father of the most adorably retarded child ever to grace the small screen. In the charmingly colorful world of The Simpsons, however, the disgraceful mistakes of police officers rarely have any lasting or tragic effect on the community of Springfield. In stunning contrast, Ervin Burrell (played by Frankie Faison of The Silence of the Lambs fame to nuanced perfection - like every performance in The Wire), the recently retired/ousted Police Commissioner of Baltimore on The Wire directly and indirectly complicates and ruins the lives of the downtrodden inner-city dwellers that once relied on the police for safety and security through his self-aggrandizing policies that trounce major criminal investigation and corruption among elected officials in favor of "juked" (i.e. falsified) statistics that maintain the farcical facade of public safety. Other parallel examples of failed, corrupt, or otherwise compromised character, and the results of such failed leadership include Mayor Quimby / former Mayor Clarence Royce, Fat Tony / The Greek, The Blue-Haired Lawyer / Maurice Levy, Bart and Lisa and their schoolmates / the poverty-stricken students of Edward J. Tilghman Middle School (for heart-wrenching performances from truly talented young black actors, look no further than Season 4 of The Wire. But not before you watch Seasons 1, 2, and 3). Yes, there are a few good men (and women, like Lisa Simpson and Rhonda Pearlman) on both programs, noble characters who champion the "good" (along with its antithesis, a somewhat antiquated term for The Wire) and reform over "evil" and retribution. But in keeping with the spirit of the series - which in my mind will go down in history as the one and only show that never even came close to jumping the shark, not even in an ironic or "meta" fashion - , their efforts are routinely thwarted by the self-interests and survival instincts of everyone around them. Indeed, the only noble character on The Wire who exacts any laudable punishment on the drug-slinging blood-spilling gangsters throughout th
e series' Tolstoyian narrative is himself a violent vigilante thief who lives (and might die, although I pray daily that he won't) by a moral code only he can fully comprehend. Also, he is probably the coolest bruthafuckin' gay badass since Achilles. (Yeah yeah, today's concept of homosexuality is largely a nineteenth century social construction that would be foreign to ancient societies. I read Foucault at an Ivy League school too. Blow me. Then go blow yourself.)Supported by a dizzying but most welcome cast of characters, The Simpsons and The Wire intelligently preach (without being preachy) that in this not-so-brave new world where Dostoyevsky's problem of evil vexes us more relentlessly every day, we would be fools not to examine the world and society in which we live with more daring souls. Fortunately for Homer, Marge, Bart, Lisa, and Maggie, each episode of their eponymous show reinforces the axiom that "home is where the heart is," and that at the end of the day, at the end of the night, hope and all the good things which spring forth from it can be found in the love of our families. The Wire offers no such easy path to a happy ending, but hey. It's all in the game.
Salmon a la DiSaronno
Not sure what I did wrong but this one didn't turn out quite right for me. Results below.
Disaronno® Amaretto Oriental Salmon Recipe
Ingredients
1/4 cup DISARONNO® Originale
1/4 cup light soy sauce
2 Tbsp lime juice
2 Tbsp sesame oil
1/4 tsp ground black pepper
1 tsp grated fresh ginger
Salt to taste
2 salmon fillets (1-1/2 pounds each) skin on
1 Tbsp Hoisin (available in the Chinese foods section of your store)
Instructions
Combine DISARONNO®, soy sauce, lime juice, sesame oil, hoisin, pepper, ginger and salt. Add salmon fillets and marinate for 1 hour.
Preheat oven to 350 degrees F.
Lightly spray a shallow roasting pan with vegetable oil spray. Place the fish fillets in the pan, skin side down. Bake for 10 minutes. Pour remaining marinade in a saucepan, bring to a boil and reduce for 10 minutes. Place fillets on a serving platter and pour reduced marinade over the top. Garnish with fresh asparagus and lemon slices. Recipe may also be used for salmon steaks.
Yield: 2 servings
Credits
Recipe from: DiSaronno® Originale Amaretto
Disaronno® Amaretto Oriental Salmon Recipe
Ingredients
1/4 cup DISARONNO® Originale
1/4 cup light soy sauce
2 Tbsp lime juice
2 Tbsp sesame oil
1/4 tsp ground black pepper
1 tsp grated fresh ginger
Salt to taste
2 salmon fillets (1-1/2 pounds each) skin on
1 Tbsp Hoisin (available in the Chinese foods section of your store)
Instructions
Combine DISARONNO®, soy sauce, lime juice, sesame oil, hoisin, pepper, ginger and salt. Add salmon fillets and marinate for 1 hour.
Preheat oven to 350 degrees F.
Lightly spray a shallow roasting pan with vegetable oil spray. Place the fish fillets in the pan, skin side down. Bake for 10 minutes. Pour remaining marinade in a saucepan, bring to a boil and reduce for 10 minutes. Place fillets on a serving platter and pour reduced marinade over the top. Garnish with fresh asparagus and lemon slices. Recipe may also be used for salmon steaks.
Yield: 2 servings
Credits
Recipe from: DiSaronno® Originale Amaretto
Thursday, February 7, 2008
Livephotoblogging Fashion Week
dont know about u but i'm having a MARVELOUS time at fashion week... gtg catch the next show, more later!
-- Sent wirelessly via BlackBerry
There's hope yet for Mitt Romney...
Getting some responses to my Craigslist ad! I'll paste them as they come, with necessary redactions.
to res-566225291
More options 3:59 pm (1½ hours ago)
** CRAIGSLIST ADVISORY --- AVOID SCAMS BY DEALING LOCALLY
** Avoid: wiring money, cross-border deals, work-at-home
** Beware: cashier checks, money orders, escrow, shipping
** More Info: http://www.craigslist.org/about/scams.html
Hi,
I read your craigslist resume and I am looking for some part time or full time management opportunity with my company.
We give daily pay, benefits, and 401k. I would love to talk with you.
Please visit www.XXXX.com/XXXX to learn more about my company. If interested click request an interview.
Thank you and Good luck!
XXXX, Independent business owner
XXXX@yahoo.com
XXX.XXX.XXXX
this message was remailed to you via: res-566225291@craigslist.org
XXXX
XXX@charter.net> to res-566225291
More options 5:36 pm (26 minutes ago)
** CRAIGSLIST ADVISORY --- AVOID SCAMS BY DEALING LOCALLY
** Avoid: wiring money, cross-border deals, work-at-home
** Beware: cashier checks, money orders, escrow, shipping
** More Info: http://www.craigslist.org/about/scams.html
Hello.
I read your posting on Craigslist. Could you send me your resume for my review?
Thank you,
XXXX
XXXX
XXXX Associate
XXXX
Visit us on the web at www.XXXX.com to learn more.
View our Online Presentation! http://XXXX.com/XXXX
PS - It’s my intention to continue building lifelong relationships one client at a time and remain your personal health and wellness consultant for life.
If you know of a friend, co-worker or family member who has a desire to improve their health and/or their wealth situation, be sure to contact me.
Your personal referrals are the greatest compliment I can receive.
this message was remailed to you via: res-566225291@craigslist.org
"XXXX, Ph.D"
to res-566225291
More options 4:10 pm (1 hour ago)
** CRAIGSLIST ADVISORY --- AVOID SCAMS BY DEALING LOCALLY
** Avoid: wiring money, cross-border deals, work-at-home
** Beware: cashier checks, money orders, escrow, shipping
** More Info: http://www.craigslist.org/about/scams.html
Hello.
Someone keeps calling me and it is really annoying.
If you can call this person XXX-XXX-XXXX and tell him to F**K off,
I will pay you $50 right now. Send you a money order.
Or do something weird like saying: "[Sender of this Craigslist response] wants to rape your sister".
You can even text message him. As long as you do this for one week.
When this is done let me know so I can pay you. I promise I will pay $50.
Again the number is XXX-XXX-XXXX his name is Jason and he is a 20 year old brat.
Thanks, again!!!
Be a better friend, newshound, and know-it-all with Yahoo! Mobile. Try it now.
this message was remailed to you via: res-566225291@craigslist.org
More options 3:59 pm (1½ hours ago)
** CRAIGSLIST ADVISORY --- AVOID SCAMS BY DEALING LOCALLY
** Avoid: wiring money, cross-border deals, work-at-home
** Beware: cashier checks, money orders, escrow, shipping
** More Info: http://www.craigslist.org/about/scams.html
Hi,
I read your craigslist resume and I am looking for some part time or full time management opportunity with my company.
We give daily pay, benefits, and 401k. I would love to talk with you.
Please visit www.XXXX.com/XXXX to learn more about my company. If interested click request an interview.
Thank you and Good luck!
XXXX, Independent business owner
XXXX@yahoo.com
XXX.XXX.XXXX
this message was remailed to you via: res-566225291@craigslist.org
XXXX
XXX@charter.net> to res-566225291
More options 5:36 pm (26 minutes ago)
** CRAIGSLIST ADVISORY --- AVOID SCAMS BY DEALING LOCALLY
** Avoid: wiring money, cross-border deals, work-at-home
** Beware: cashier checks, money orders, escrow, shipping
** More Info: http://www.craigslist.org/about/scams.html
Hello.
I read your posting on Craigslist. Could you send me your resume for my review?
Thank you,
XXXX
XXXX
XXXX Associate
XXXX
Visit us on the web at www.XXXX.com to learn more.
View our Online Presentation! http://XXXX.com/XXXX
PS - It’s my intention to continue building lifelong relationships one client at a time and remain your personal health and wellness consultant for life.
If you know of a friend, co-worker or family member who has a desire to improve their health and/or their wealth situation, be sure to contact me.
Your personal referrals are the greatest compliment I can receive.
this message was remailed to you via: res-566225291@craigslist.org
"XXXX, Ph.D"
More options 4:10 pm (1 hour ago)
** CRAIGSLIST ADVISORY --- AVOID SCAMS BY DEALING LOCALLY
** Avoid: wiring money, cross-border deals, work-at-home
** Beware: cashier checks, money orders, escrow, shipping
** More Info: http://www.craigslist.org/about/scams.html
Hello.
Someone keeps calling me and it is really annoying.
If you can call this person XXX-XXX-XXXX and tell him to F**K off,
I will pay you $50 right now. Send you a money order.
Or do something weird like saying: "[Sender of this Craigslist response] wants to rape your sister".
You can even text message him. As long as you do this for one week.
When this is done let me know so I can pay you. I promise I will pay $50.
Again the number is XXX-XXX-XXXX his name is Jason and he is a 20 year old brat.
Thanks, again!!!
Be a better friend, newshound, and know-it-all with Yahoo! Mobile. Try it now.
this message was remailed to you via: res-566225291@craigslist.org
Middle America Responds to Last Night's "Project Runway"-WWE Crossover Episode
Budd Rickabee, Jr. - Pumpkin Farmer - Craigville, Indiana
"That fella wearin' the police hat is a little light in the loafers, ain't he?"
Grantham F. Shelby - Small Town Accountant - Funcleshire, Georgia
"One o' them boys claims to be a Christian, but I have my doubts."
More to come from these "devout" "Project Runway" fans.
"That fella wearin' the police hat is a little light in the loafers, ain't he?"
Grantham F. Shelby - Small Town Accountant - Funcleshire, Georgia
"One o' them boys claims to be a Christian, but I have my doubts."
More to come from these "devout" "Project Runway" fans.
Who could this be?
http://boston.craigslist.org/gbs/res/566225291.html
Funny, sounds really familiar but I can't put my finger on it right now.
Funny, sounds really familiar but I can't put my finger on it right now.
It's not unusual to insure body hair
Much to the delight of women and children everywhere, Tom Jones has recently taken necessary precautions to preserve his future legacy. Even when the market is in disarray, the war in Iraq rages on, and genocide continues in Africa, you can always count on a stalwart like TJ to keep things in perspective. I wonder if I should do my eyebrows?
Geriatric Predator Alert
We all knew we could look up the Andre the Giant (R.I.P.) for his nearly unmatched drinking ability. There is one way that he was not a role model: elderly abuse. Abusing old sports commentators is a serious offense. It's a shame this otherwise admirable mountain of a man was caught on tape doing this dispicable deed.
For the Kids
If you're like me, you've probably considered smoking crack at some point in your life. All the cool kids are doing it, right? Wrong. Just ask one credible source: Pee Wee Herman. If you can't trust an honest, respectable Hollywood icon, then who can you trust?
Newsflash: Don't Trust Ben Franklin
Ben Franklin is held in high esteem by many in the historical world for his numerous contributions to American history and culture. Regardless, he was far from a chaste old man like his counterparts John Adams and George Washington.
Known facts: played the harp, flew kites, invented now-obsolete viewing spectacles, played with fire, canoodled with the French
Facts that should be known: did not invent daylight savings time (aka DST), had syphilis, probably impregnated your spouse
Known facts: played the harp, flew kites, invented now-obsolete viewing spectacles, played with fire, canoodled with the French
Facts that should be known: did not invent daylight savings time (aka DST), had syphilis, probably impregnated your spouse
"Acclaimed actor Kevin Costner teaches talk show superstar Oprah Winfrey how to throw a baseball. Several of Costner's films have featured a baseball
Okay viewers, this is it. Don't hold back, don't be afraid to be rude, crass, or make fun of the people in this photo, because quite frankly, I am not in the photo.
It's Cougarific!!!
Let's put aside all the mediocre pop culture references and sub-par caption contests and think about those who really inspire us. Those who get us out of bed each morning, (literally). I'm talking about those we can learn so much from- mostly because they have graced God's earth many more years than we have. I'm not talking about that 18 year-old bimbette you're waiting for outside the Paramus High School study hall. I'm talking about the Woman with a real job and a real apartment and sometimes real children. Yes, ladies and gentleman, I am talking about the Cougar. The perfect Cougar is the unicorn every 20-something year old male is looking for to complete his life, to teach him the ways. That is all.How to catch a Cougar
Wednesday, February 6, 2008
Daniel Plainview's Cock Does Not Work
This insightful script analysis clears some thing up with regard to the absence of ladyfriends from the life of Daniel Plainview. Drink it up indeed.
"Using the Neti Pot Can Be As Routine As Brushing Your Teeth."
Probably the most beautiful, heartbreaking film on the internets:
I'm Working on Something Big
Riding on the coattails of this summer's hottest film (because without question it will be The Dark Knight), Robby Downy the Junior has decided to make a quick buck by capitalizing on the comic-book-turned-silver-screen super hero trend. Honestly, I didn't think the two movies could compare, but throw in Terrence Howard and Jeff Bridges to the Iron Man camp, and we have ourselves a competition. Sure, Iron Man has a bunch of flashy flame throwers, and he can fly, but could he really combat the hilarious lunacy of The Joker? He doesn't look unhappy enough. I am sure that the Prince of Pranks could make Iron Man's stoic face crack into a smile (he has never had such luck with Batman). So which movie will be better? I have to go with Batman, unless Downey & Co's film uses Ghostface's debut album as their soundtrack.
0 girls, 1 monkey taking a shit with his mouth open so that he can stuff this shit in his mouth after he's done shitting....
0 girls, 1 monkey taking a shit with his mouth open so that he can stuff this shit in his mouth after he's done shitting.... The karate suit is just a facade.
Nothing like a funny chimp pic to liven up the day...
EDIT: We have a frontrunner but the contest remains ever open.
Nothing like a funny chimp pic to liven up the day...
EDIT: We have a frontrunner but the contest remains ever open.
The Origin of Tornadoes
According to Tennessee Republican presidential choice and witty evangelical Mike Huckabee, God is responsible for a lot of things, but a tornado is not one of them.
Musikal Knowlege: Christopher Cross
In doing worthless research yesterday on the Grammys for trivia night at Professor Thom's, I came across a musician named Christopher Cross. We have all heard his famous 1981 hit, "Sailing" as well as his other well-known tune, "Arthur's Theme (Best That You Can Do)". It was songs like these that made Christopher Cross the only artist to ever receive the "Big Four" awards at a single Grammy Awards ceremony. The songs are timeless, sure. But we really don't know anything about the man behind them. Well, there really isn't much, except that he will be performing at the Carlyle Hotel in NYC from April 15 to May 10.
Tuesday, February 5, 2008
Survivor Comes to DiSaronno Blog
So after consulting the the wastrels and miscreants that are the DBlog's contributors about what our next poll should be, and after this attempt at democratic brainstorming produced no good ideas whatsoever, I have decided to take matters into my hands and make a poll asking you, Dear Readers, who should be permanently kicked off from this blog as a contributor. My hope is that this tactic will drive an irreversible wedge into the pathetic bunch making up the DiSaronno Blog team, sowing strife and discord where unity once prevailed, and perhaps even precipitating a decisive, fatal blow to this sorry Internet venture.
So, please, have at it.
Super Tuesday's Big Winner: Warm Gin!!!
Whether you take yours in a shot glass, a highball, or a steaming shoe, warm gin is in this winter, and DiSaronno Blog was the first to internets-publicize it. Yes, despite my heir-to-the-DiSaronno-fortune status, I too have partaken of that sweet concoction of juniper berries, other flavourings, booze, and heat. So, readers of DB, don't feel guilty about your forbidden preference, come out, have some pride, and enjoy that overflowing glass of warm gin! (And tell 'em Luigi sent ya.)
Informative Information
Picture this: You're canoodling with your lover in the early hours of the morning. After a few shots of DiSaronno have you both feeling rather inquisitive about each other, the clothes start to fly. All of a sudden disaster strikes, and you instantly realize you can't find your copy of Wild Wild West. OH SHIT! Fear not gentle warrior, because the seductive stylings of dirty talk will surely save the day. For those not in the know, dirty talk should be considered along the same lines as Skepticism, Existentialism, and other related schools of thought:
How To Talk Dirty
How To Talk Dirty
Happy Shrove/Pancake Day!
We here at the DiSaronno Blog office (yes, we have an office in a building. Wait, no we don't) all know that it is Fat Tuesday. However, some of the writers (namely Mark Gastineau) were ignorant and unaware to the fact that it is also Shrove Tuesday. "How could one forget about this?" you may ask. "Is this a real celebration?" you may ask. Don't ask me; ASK YOUR MOTHER! YES IT'S REAL!!! Please feel free to post your favorite type of pancake, a caption to the above picture, or whatever the hell else you want to comment on.
Newsflash: Fans Celebrating Super Bowl Victory?
No! In a shocking turn of events, the Men's Wearhouse has just slashed it's prices on hundreds of designer suits. Subsequently, fans of the popular clothing chain have started rioting in hopes of being guaranteed that they will like they way they look.
DiSaronno Blog: The Psycadelic Years: a Mesage from Tyko McGee
This week's excerpt from Tyko McGee's upcoming novel (yet to be titled):
Shocking, exclussive footage of what the Purgatory's Messengers may have looked like.
"Things sure got rough after I left Loveboops' Traveling Circus. My beloved Doheny Jones was not quite dead, but his mind had been reduced to the level of a luded out chimp waiting in line at a barber shop, and I could not forget the scar across his pelvic region. I felt like I had nothing left to give him, or the Circus.
Down on my luck, I went back to my old demons at Taco Bell. Somewhere between my third and fourth week of living in the handicap bathroom stall, an astonishingly beautiful maiden entered the men's room to take a leak. When she saw me peeking at her, she ran in, gave me a kiss, and two tablets of LSD. Just like that, I was transformed into Tyko McGee Lovechild Warkhawk, the menacingly hip hippie.
I followed Varnonica, the fair maiden, to the countryside, where we raised ducks and gathered more wandering souls to join our group, the Purgatory's Messengers. While never purely destructive, many of our recruiting techniques came into question by the FBI, so we escaped to Canada, where we gourged on Poutine and American Bacon.
Shocking, exclussive footage of what the Purgatory's Messengers may have looked like.
This was all magical until I woke up one morning, or it may have been the day after, I can't remember, I was in the midst of a massive Dayquill binge. Varnonica was gone, the rest of the Purgatory's Messengers had surrounded me and were about to beat me up for stealing all of their peyote, and worst of all, I had peed my pants in the midst of my trance-like state the night before. I somehow made it out alive, albeit wearing only an eagles shit (and no, not the band, it was a shirt with a picture of a bunch of eagles on it). I had to sneak around the forrest for weeks with no pants, underwear, or socks. Four cases of poison ivy and zero square meals later, I was able to cross the border, albeit illegaly, as I had given up my citizenship days before. I came back looking for some sort of stability in my life, the only stability I had ever known: Lietenant Loveboops."
Tyko McGee's autobiography is not completed. We allow him to post on a week-to-week basis. If you are a publisher and interested in funding/publishing Mr. McGee's book, please contact us.
This isn't what I meant when I said I wanted to have ass-sex. But, eh, I'll take it.
Let's see what you can come up with, if anything
The Next Nostradamus?
With celebrities and various public figures backing specific political candidates as the primaries continue to heat up, I think it's time to look to the wisdom of one particular clairvoyant: Curtis Jackson. 50 Cent, as he's more popularly known, recently pontificated on the current Democratic race. In an unexpected turn of events, Mr. Cent bucked the current trend of supporting Obama in favor of the older/crustier competition:
"Steve" Stevelson's Saturday Bucket List
"Kick the Bucket. Cutesy...We can do this."
The Bucket List (the movie) taught me to enjoy every day as if it was the last day I would ever be alive because once you're dead, you've "kicked the bucket." Which is why on last Saturday I decided that I would "kick the bucket" that night so I had to do all the best things I could during the day before it happened.
So I told my friends, let's make a "Saturday Bucket List." It will be fun and we'll also inspire lots of other people to follow our lead so they can make their own bucket lists and share them with other folks in the Blogosphere like here on DiSaronno Blog.
We came up with a pretty good list:
The first thing we did was to decide to do a Bucket List on Saturday which was a pretty crazy idea to start with. It was completely spontaneous...so we crossed "Do Something Completely Spontaneous" off of the Bucket List: FYI -- when you do something on the Bucket List, you can cross it off; when all items are crossed off, you can die.
At the top of the Empire State Building, we saw a pigeon which was looking out over the city like Jack Nicholson and Morgan Freeman when they look out over the Pyramids of Giza. We wrote a poem about birds and how high they could fly in the sky.
That was "two birds with one stone!": go to Empire State Building and Be Inspired Enough to Write a Poem.
Here's an inspiring shot from The Bucket List where Jack Nicholson and Morgan Freemon are on a safari and messing around with guns. Shooting guns is a good thing for a bucket list:
Continuing our journey, we decided to get nitty (and gritty!) on the Staten Island Ferry. It's a free ride to America's original island hangout.
The Staten Island Ferry has lots of happy people because it's free! And I'll give you an insider's tip: it's Another Twofer. Riding the Staten Island ferry not only takes you to Staten Island but also lets you Look at Something Beautiful like the Statue of Liberty. It just so happens that looking at something beautiful was number 4 on our Bucket List and going to Staten Island was number 2. Fuck yeah you stupid cunts!
After our fun day, we had almost crossed off the entire list:
So we decided to commit group suicide by hanging...
JK! We didn't because we never got to shoot guns (or take a Helicopter Tour!)
Oh well...We hope to make all of our Saturdays filled with fun due to Bucket Lists. And we hope you do to! Share your bucket lists with me, Steve "Steve" Stevelson Steveston. Until next Saturday...
Monday, February 4, 2008
For the Culinarily Inclined/Worst Recipe on Earth
DiSaronno Chicken
5 boneless chicken breasts
3 tbl. flour
1-1/2 tsp. salt
1-1/2 tsp. ground pepper
2 tsp. paprika
1 tbl. olive oil
3 tbl. butter
1-1/2 tbl. Dijon mustard
1-1/2 cups orange juice
1 orange, sliced
1 cup amaretto (this means DiSaronno)
Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Combine flour, salt, pepper, and paprika. Coat chicken with this mixture. Heat oil and butter in skillet and saute chicken until brown. Remove and place in a casserole dish. To skillet, add mustard, orange juice, and amaretto. Increase heat and boil, stirring constantly, until thick. Pour sauce over chicken and cover each breast with an orange slice. Cover dish with foil and bake for 22-25 minutes.
Recipe provided by Satan's Cookbook.
5 boneless chicken breasts
3 tbl. flour
1-1/2 tsp. salt
1-1/2 tsp. ground pepper
2 tsp. paprika
1 tbl. olive oil
3 tbl. butter
1-1/2 tbl. Dijon mustard
1-1/2 cups orange juice
1 orange, sliced
1 cup amaretto (this means DiSaronno)
Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Combine flour, salt, pepper, and paprika. Coat chicken with this mixture. Heat oil and butter in skillet and saute chicken until brown. Remove and place in a casserole dish. To skillet, add mustard, orange juice, and amaretto. Increase heat and boil, stirring constantly, until thick. Pour sauce over chicken and cover each breast with an orange slice. Cover dish with foil and bake for 22-25 minutes.
Recipe provided by Satan's Cookbook.
The Coifs They Are-a-Changin'
History is made and broken not only by great leaders (postmodernist liberals, shut the fuck up and let me finish) and the unsung masses (right-wing neo-Nazis, shut the fuck up and let me finish), but also by hairstyles. The idyllic reunification of the North and South Korean states will probably never transpire under the auspices of Kim Jong-Il's current coiffure, which looks disturbingly like my beloved grandmother's at the break of dawn after a night out with Phoenix Doherty in 2006. See Exhibits A and B below.
Exhibit A:
Exhibit B:
That said, let us take a retrospective look at some of history's most drastic before-and-after shots of the hairstyles that shocked and awed, made tabloid headlines, and captured/abandoned the hopes and vanities of countless generations.
Metallica in the 80s: Raucous, rebellious, rambunctious rawkers.
Metallica in the 90s - present: Might as well work at Morgan Stanley or Vanity Fair magazine.
Britney Spears in GQ in early 2000s: Still playing the blonde Lolita card, albeit very effectively. Humberta humberta.
Britney Spears in the summer of 2007: The b. is not for brilliant. Yikes. Reminds me of the book/movie The Witches,
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Witches_(book); http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Witches_(1990_film)
written by the ever-wonderful Roald Dahl (except for that whole anti-semitism thing).
And for old times' sake, check out my new haircut.
Je suis relatively new to the world of blogging (a rather time-consuming activity if you ask me), and I have multiple games of copyright infringement Scrabulous going on right now on Facebook, so here endeth my post for the time being.
This is part 1 in a special ongoing Disaronno Blog series on hairstyles, health, Heath Ledger, and hygiene in general.
Upping the Ante - Winner is: "NEVER GIVE UP!"
Now that this blog is in the public spotlight, the stakes have been raised. The heat is on. The gloves are coming off. Things are getting serious. The Rubicon has been crossed. Our authors are now stressing to meet deadlines. Tempers have been flaring all weekend (you can draw the simile yourself), and the jenkem is really starting to hit the fan. As a warmup, we thought we could give our fan(s) a taste of what is to come: mediocre caption contests, occaisional jokes about feces, and of course, Luigi's political stance. I don't have any jokes or political platform, but here is a caption contest:
Monday Morning Moment of Inspiration
While browsing the web earlier this morning, I was fortunate enough to stumble across this lovely little gem from feminist icon Heidi Montag. Even though the overall quality of the video conjures up memories of third grade social studies projects made out of glue and popsicle sticks, the words and passion are undeniable. Enjoy!
Sunday, February 3, 2008
Question
Is it so bad that I'm a straight man but find Tom Brady beautiful? So I get a little turned on watching him reach under the center, take a snap, and pivot in those tight-fitting pants. What is so wrong about that?
"Huck Me" You President of Heaven
Tired of all the gay marriage and evolution that's polluting the streets of middle America but frustrated too with candidates who lack music videos produced by attractive female adoring fans? Well, as the French would say, Michele Huckabee est arrivé. Regard:
ARE YOU READY FOR SOME FOOTBALL!! (are you ready for some soup?)
Before I go home to roast a chicken, I thought I would inaugurate a new Suberbowl tradition: the DiSaronno Blog caption contest. Please see the below picture:
Before you hoist your DOTR (DiSaronno on the rocks), please pass the virtual pleasure around by leaving your comment of this picture.
Before you hoist your DOTR (DiSaronno on the rocks), please pass the virtual pleasure around by leaving your comment of this picture.
Saturday, February 2, 2008
Just heard in the East Village
How did I just become devil's advocate for not washing your hands?
Pema "The Groin" McGuinness
Pema "The Groin" McGuinness
Friday, February 1, 2008
Warning, legal lesson
"DiSaronno" is a term trademarked by Luigi's estranged family. The reason we here at Dblog can use the term is not because Luigi knows all their dirty secrets, but because of the concept of parody as fair use in american trademark law. Essentially, you can use someone else's trademark as long as you're doing it to make fun of them. God bless America. Once you start to stray from the noble path of parody and into the muddy rut of satire - using someone's trademark to make fun of something else - that's when you're heading into a legal mire. So, dbloggers, make sure to take an explicit shot at DiSaronno daily. or take a daily shot of DiSaronno, which is kind of like making fun of yourself and also perfectly legal.
Hungry?
As Valentine's Day rolls around, I'm reminded of my love of cougars, chocolate sprinkles, and veganism. Thank your loved one for putting up with another year of your senseless bullshit by sending her a baker's dozen of these scrumptious gems, ideally to her office:
Click for YUM!
Click for YUM!
Connecticut Clam Chowder
While perusing my local Bowery Whole Foods establishment one Friday afternoon, I came upon the soup. I knew that I wanted clam chowder, but I could not decide between creamy-delicious New England clam chowder and the tomoatoey-delicious Manhattan variety. That is when I discovered a third way, a sort of bipartisan solution to the chowder dilemma-problem. I combined the two available varieties, part for part, into single bowl of hybridized soup.
PLUS
But what to name this chimerical broth? Though technically in New England, Connecticut provides many Manhattan-based captains of industry with a place to lay their heads and headquarter their hedge funds. Neither truly New England nor much like Manhattan, Connecticut would provide the name for Connecticut Clam Chowder!
PLUS
But what to name this chimerical broth? Though technically in New England, Connecticut provides many Manhattan-based captains of industry with a place to lay their heads and headquarter their hedge funds. Neither truly New England nor much like Manhattan, Connecticut would provide the name for Connecticut Clam Chowder!
Fuck the Superbowl
Honestly America, this whole fascination with football is a little late 70's, don't you think? As we try and match the sophistication of the Europeans, sports should increasingly become more of an after-throught in the present moment. Let's turn our attention away from touchdowns and cheerleaders to a more refined form of entertainment. Yes that's right, I'm talking about the annual Puppy Bowl!! Watching a full day of puppies romping around all cute and such is just the thing to take you from hoi polloi to elite in my book. Get with the program America, because only the common few should really care about such a barbaric game.
Does The Blog Offend You, Yeah?
Kind of like the below post, this video combines two of my favorite things: science and romance.
Educational Post
Starting with the piercing convergence of violins that announces the title shot, Johnny Greenwood's soundtrack for There WIll Be Blood is a great film score, in my opinion. His original compositions span a wide stylistic range, with influences from Stravinsky, Satie, and others. The majority of them are characterized by an almost unbearably tense mood, with swarming strings or driving drumbeats adding to the nervy minimalism of the film. The music becomes a little distracting, at times, threatening to rend the fabric of the film apart, but the razop-sharp cinematography and performances of There Will Be Blood are always threatening to split the movie open, and part of Paul Thomas Anderson's genius is to ride this fine line the whole way. One track that really stands out, though, is by Estonian composer Arvo Pärt. It's from his Fratres series. It's played in the middle of the film, I believe during or around the part where Plainview and the con man pretending to be his brother are ambling through the woods and surveilling the land for his great pipeline. It's one of the few pieces not written by Greenwood and not on the soundtrack. (A violin concerto by Brahms is another.) But Greenwood made an excellent call adding it to the movie.
Here's the "Fratres for Violin, Strings, and Percussion":
From Wikipedia:
Fratres is a composition by the Estonian composer Arvo Pärt, existing in versions for a wide variety of instrumentations and exemplifying Pärt's Tintinnabuli style of composition. Its duration is about 12 minutes.
It exists perhaps most prominently in its versions for violin, string orchestra, and percussion and for violin and piano. Most other versions are very similar to these two: for instance, the versions for viola and piano and cello and piano are almost exactly the same as the former, whereas the version for string quartet is more similar to the latter.
Structurally, Fratres consists of a set of nine chord sequences, separated by a recurring percussion motif. The chord sequences themselves follow a clear pattern, and while the progressing chords explore a rich harmonic space, they nevertheless appear to have been generated by means of a simple mathematical formula.
Here's the "Fratres for Violin, Strings, and Percussion":
From Wikipedia:
Fratres is a composition by the Estonian composer Arvo Pärt, existing in versions for a wide variety of instrumentations and exemplifying Pärt's Tintinnabuli style of composition. Its duration is about 12 minutes.
It exists perhaps most prominently in its versions for violin, string orchestra, and percussion and for violin and piano. Most other versions are very similar to these two: for instance, the versions for viola and piano and cello and piano are almost exactly the same as the former, whereas the version for string quartet is more similar to the latter.
Structurally, Fratres consists of a set of nine chord sequences, separated by a recurring percussion motif. The chord sequences themselves follow a clear pattern, and while the progressing chords explore a rich harmonic space, they nevertheless appear to have been generated by means of a simple mathematical formula.
Starting Off a New Month of Bad Posts - "Who crapped in my corn pops?!?"
Update: Congratulations Firebird! You are the "Weiner!"
February is here! Besides being the month that holds Groundhog Day, Valentine's Day, and the most cases of diarrhea for Firebird, this is also a very cold month. What better way to keep warm than with our favorite white bean stew?
In honor of this dish, we will hold a comment caption contest for the dish/below picture:
My favorite recipe, courtesy of bbc.co.uk.
February is here! Besides being the month that holds Groundhog Day, Valentine's Day, and the most cases of diarrhea for Firebird, this is also a very cold month. What better way to keep warm than with our favorite white bean stew?
In honor of this dish, we will hold a comment caption contest for the dish/below picture:
My favorite recipe, courtesy of bbc.co.uk.
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