Wednesday, November 19, 2008

What In the World Is He Thinking Now?

Yes, it's that time again, when we introduce you to another shortlived, pointless, and highly questional DiSaronno Blog exclussive periodical. This month, it's "What In The World Is He Thinking Now?" Post your guesses in the comments section.

Caption Contest

If you can somehow incorporate both pictures into one caption, then your response will be twice as likely to win the $grand prize$.

Free Wheelin' & Deelin' and a Lil' Ramblin'

So the craiglist free adz R amazing these days. I've already picked up tonz of stuff that I didn't even know I needed till I picked it up: champagne buckets, torpedo sized incense, 10 free couches, and tons of wood and rocks. Sometimes you just gotta get things for on the cheap. Plus U get to meet some pretty awsome dudez and dudettes when you pick up the free stuff, because anyone who is willing to give you something for free is automatically an awesome hippy. But do you ever worry when you go to pick up your free stuff? What if U get there and they change their mind and ask you for some $money$ to take away their stuff? There's gotta be a way to protect ourselvez from Snakez on a Plane/in the gra$$.

So anyway, what do you think is more dangerous, a snake or a mongoose? If a snake and a mongoose where to sit down next to each other and play some online yahoo chess, who would win? Would they enact a time limit on their moves? Did you ever have a Mongosse bicycle growing up, or were you strictly into Huffy's? Do either brandz make grown up bikes? They make kiddie stuff out of grown-up brandz, so why not vice versa? Isn't that the best way to relive the glory days of peeing in a diaper and having people spoon feed you?

Did you think for a sec that that was a man and not a little child? Is that because I stretched the picture or just because you weren't looking carefully?

Tuesday, November 18, 2008


Promised Luigi that I'd have a shnazzy po$t up by $undown, or elze I'd get fired (NOT as in fired up). $orry wrld, there'z ju$t not enuff nooz the$e dayz to po$t about. What R U gonna do about it? N then I thought about it n' I didn't wanna lose this $weet! gig, livin' in the $weet! lap of luxury not havin' to worry about billz, just loungin' around in a pool of di$aronno all day, next to the hot tub full of GOOEY BLENDR DRINX, sippin' hot toddiez n' poppin' yellow prrots.

So then I sat down and buckled down for a few dayz, called up my editor, went thru a few draftz to po$t these gemz for u, and then I had a revelation that u gotta wrk hard at blogging if you wanna make it to the big leagz.

But sumtimez it getz a little tuff, you know, pounding my head again$t the wall, trying to always be 6 steps ahead of the other DiSaronno Riderz, and about 58 steps ahead of the other blogz. My head hurts sometimes. Not even Newprin can help me out. What's a starving artiste to do?

HELPE ME OUT! Give me your suggestion of how best to keep coming up with funky a$$ $hit like every single day.