Saturday, May 17, 2014

Le Pouteen: the Grown Gown, the Red Floor

I jumped five \\ ten feet and then saw the banana boat zip away across that cerulean sea. explosion Helicopter I met up with a woman named, and she was Suddenly there was a sound from the Official Crucifix. Everyone chattered about it, each way and there, their faces covered in pollen. The nation was affixed with yellow, we'd had our machetes in our cubby holes ready for the first strike. WHIR WHIR WHIR HIRHHIRHWIHWIHRIW Choppers are above me slit Stanton Street "fisherman." He used to say, "When the tide came in, and when the tide came out, we were washed upon." Proclaimed: in the cave where the chopper landed.

Saturday, April 14, 2012

Le Pouteen: XX-3000, The Baby in The Sack

I had a bar-b-Q. My worst friend ate the last bit of foie. We had to jet off; to Montreal. I took my swingboat. You were there. I put the baby in the sack. And I fed it to make it fat. And dropped it casually into the currents; swiftly. We made our way across that border, as the baby in the sack sunk down!

Saturday, January 7, 2012

And then I saw myself playing chicken with the creditors of fate.

And I started to wonder if my blade was sharp enough.

Sunday, December 18, 2011


I licked the end of the grenade before I let it loose on the boardwalk. I said to the maid before I left, "Thank you for all you've done. I appreciate the clean sheets."

He jumped on the jet ski and made wakes as he peeled out into the sunset as the explosions heated his back.

Scene in. Blood rains from the sky. Drums beat hard. The caller has nothing to say other than whatnot. Things have gotten there, if you know what I mean.

Wednesday, December 14, 2011

Home Alone PSA

Sunday, November 20, 2011

driving down Miami's Pacific Coast Highway with my top down

I was so relaxed I forgot how to post on http:disronnoblog

Saturday, November 12, 2011

New distraggy post

Thé las face i sa on thé flight to mi

Friday, October 7, 2011

my take on occupy wall street


look at this fucking insane bullshit

was up 10% now down 4%

i'm gonna occupy fucking wall st. over this

John: so the market is volatile? weird
12:09 PM
me: fucking capitalist pigs selling their shares of S

they should buy

fucking 1%

Thursday, October 6, 2011

Mid-Day Cheer-Up!

How i spent my day thus far: Reading two obituaries. Taking a quiz that tells me how many human beings live in slavery to support my high-end, first-world lifestyle.

Thursday, September 22, 2011

After-the-fact Live Blogging the '2 Broke Girls' Premiere via Gchat Transcript

me: so bored at work

that i'm streaming 2 broke girls ep. 1

Adam: hahaha

how is it?

me: just started
3:37 PM
there's some hipsters in it

they are wearing skiing hats or something

she just "burned"

one of em

and called the other hipster

Adam: niiiice

me: and made fun of him for liking coldplay

and she said vagina
3:38 PM
then it showed the othre waitress fucking someone

jesus can't believe this is on network tv

i would be pissed if i had kids and they saw this

Adam: lol


v chip baby
12 minutes
3:51 PM
me: ooh rape joke


Adam: uh oh
3:52 PM
hopefully no one from jezebel watched

me: "Next STop Greenpoint"

on the subway
3:56 PM
ooh white after labor day joke

not sure which is worse

Adam: did they laugh track play after "next stop greenpoint"?

me: probably

no wait no they didn't
3:57 PM
Adam: damn

me: oh shit the arcade fire concert

just let out across the street from the diner

3:58 PM
Adam: omg

the ole poutine rush
3:59 PM
me: dude can i save this gchat transcript to disaronnoblog

as "liveblogging 2 broke girls"?

i won't use your last name

Adam: lol

me: and i can redact the first

Adam: sure

me: sweet
4:00 PM
best liveblogging ever
4:01 PM
oh shit!

they're riding a horse!

they're gonna keep it in kat dennings' yard

Adam: that makes sense

as long as they feed it PBR
4:02 PM
me: they are drinking really big starbucks ice coffees

horses love those

Adam: yeah i saw that in a press photo

me: first episode of best show ever

officially over

Adam: least authentic wburg drink ever

me: they made $384 according to the running total

Monday, August 8, 2011

DiSaronno Piss List: NY Boiler Repair and Cooling Corp

This place: open (to waste your time) 24 hours a day! Imagine getting to waste an entire day of your life waiting for an air conditioner to be dropped off in the lobby of your building. All for the low price of $75! Don't wait to call; the only thing that will wait is YOU!