"Hey man, you got a light?
So you wanna hear a crazy story? February 1999, I go down to New Orleans for Mardi Gras. That place is fucking dope. I get off the plane and head to my hotel and pick up some tree, you know, so I can smoke before I head over to my favorite blues bar. This Jamaican guy gives me a huge sack for about 40 bucks, I mean I'm talking about OUNCES! So I head to the bar, where I meet this smoking hot blonde, you know, and her father was this huge blues guy back in the day. Anyway, we're having a great time, getting to know each other. I'm sitting in the back balcony of the bar getting wrecked, you know,
poppin' yellow parrots, smoking tubes. This girl asks if we can go back to my place, so we head over. She's rollin' up a BASEBALL bat of a spliff, and just then, [knock, knock, knock] the cops barge in! I toss my bag over the balcony, and it was almost empty anyway. The cop goes down to the lobby, finds the bag, and charges me with possession! So I get back to New York, I got this court hearing back in New Orleans, but I was going to get off, becuase you know why? My lawyer told me,
they couldn't search my room! So I'm on the plane back to New Orleans a few months later, throwin' back vodka tonics, when the captain says the plane is having engine trouble and the flight is cancelled! I'm thinking, oh shit, I'm gonna miss my court date! So I get down to New Orleans the next day, and the judge hears me out. I got 10 days in jail to serve, but it was a delayed sentence or something. So yeah man, it was a great time. Hey, thanks for the light, enjoy your brunch!"
