DiSaronno Newsflasher

GUESS WHAT AMERICA!

DiSaronno Blog is once again breaking all the rules of conventional blogging. We now have two polls up AT THE SAME FUCKING TIME! CAN YOUR MIND HANDLE THAT! Make sure to vote in both exciting polls, to see if we will put up a new third poll.

The stakes have never been higher! Make sure to exercise your right to vote here on DiSaronno Blog!

DiSaronno Blog Poll: Sudden Death

The impossible has happened: three gums are tied for first in the standings of this weeks poll. I'm so excited I'm about to pee in my chair, only to fill my bladder up with coffee again so that my bladder whispers to myself again.

So, America, now is your time to help make history. In the first ever DiSaronno Blog Poll Sudden Death, you can vote for your favorite of the 3 tied gums:

1. Double Mint

2. Juicy Fruit

3. Big Red

In lieu of a new poll, you may cast your ballot in the comment section of this post. Vote early, vote often. Stay up all night voting for you favorite. We don't care how many votes each person gets. [Insert Florida voting joke here.]

DiSaronno Blog Poll: Gum Preference

The contest for the king of 80s icy fresh breath is heating up, just in time for summer. This is without a doubt the closest poll we have ever had; if you feel very strongly towards one of the gums, I highly recommend you tell your friends and family to vote now, before the polls close. To help the undecideds make up their minds, here are commercials from each gum:

Doublemint:



Juicy Fruit:



Big Red:



Extra:



Winterfresh:

DiSaronno Poll: Favourite Summer Activity

Well, it was a nail biter this week. It looks like the Yellow Parrot King had to poll out all of his stops to ensure victory for his pastime of choice, but it worked. This week, my hearts do go out to those who voted for shuckin' oysters on the stoop. I too enjoy this activity very much, especially in the summer.

Well, the weather is getting warmer, the cities are beginning to wake up (only to be put to sleep again once people start a mass exodus to the luxurious Jersey shore). So before you head out there, make sure to pack your yellow parrots and tubes, because these two summer activities will be all the rage this year. I guarantee it.

Super Tuesday's Big Winner: Warm Gin!!!

Whether you take yours in a shot glass, a highball, or a steaming shoe, warm gin is in this winter, and DiSaronno Blog was the first to internets-publicize it. Yes, despite my heir-to-the-DiSaronno-fortune status, I too have partaken of that sweet concoction of juniper berries, other flavourings, booze, and heat. So, readers of DB, don't feel guilty about your forbidden preference, come out, have some pride, and enjoy that overflowing glass of warm gin! (And tell 'em Luigi sent ya.)