my take on occupy wall street

me: http://www.google.com/finance?q=NYSE:S

look at this fucking insane bullshit

was up 10% now down 4%

i'm gonna occupy fucking wall st. over this

John: so the market is volatile? weird
12:09 PM
me: fucking capitalist pigs selling their shares of S

they should buy

fucking 1%

DiSaronno Piss List: NY Boiler Repair and Cooling Corp

This place: open (to waste your time) 24 hours a day! Imagine getting to waste an entire day of your life waiting for an air conditioner to be dropped off in the lobby of your building. All for the low price of $75! Don't wait to call; the only thing that will wait is YOU!

It's shit!

Now That's A Shitty Sandwich!

Where can I get a pointer like that?

Breaking news: Black Eyed Peas Cancels Summer Concert, Leaves Fans Wondering, "Where's the Love?"

http://www.contactmusic.com/news.nsf/story/thunderstorm-washes-out-black-eyed-peas-charity-gig_1224808

Listen Closely

Little known fact: Luigi Disaronno and Eugene Dick have a copyright on the "infinite swirl" move dating back to early 1993.

WE MADE THE BIG TIME BITCHES!!!!!!

$1000 to whoever puts this kid to sleep

Fat Brat Slaps Mom - Watch more free videos

The State of Free Wireless in NYC: It Fuckin Sucks

So here's my story. Take heed. I stopped by my favourite little tea shop only to find that, likely on account of the great tea, good company, and plentiful free wireless, there were no available seats. Naturally I responded to this by going to a mediocre coffee shop whose only saving grace is outdoor seating directly opposite Tompkins. This place charges for wireless, which is a stupid fucking thing to do. But often I can pick up some other network from an out-of-doors seating place. Today, however, I could not. So then I went up to Union Square, stupidly assuming the city maybe put some wi-fis up there. They clearly did not, and no one else stepped in to fill the gap. I then trecked on down to Whole Foods Bowery because they have a free wi-fi and you need not buy. But that shit was fucking down.

The point here is pretty simple: if you live on the first or second floor of a building, don't password protect your shit. I live too high for this rule apply to me, but those of you to which it does need to get on the ball.

Someone put her to sleep

This can't be serious?

Punk Rock is Dead; Go Home

Joe Strummer is dead. Sid Vicious is dead. Joey Ramone is dead. GG Allin is dead. Apparently Patti Smith is still alive, but punk rock is most definitely fucking dead! There's a Pinkberry on St. Mark's now, put there to compete with several other fro-yo start-ups. CBGB is now a John Varvatos. So you kids hanging around Ave. A, telling me "fuck you" because I'm withdrawing money from the ATM to go buy a Tijuana Special at Cherry Tavern need to STFU, take out your nose rings, go back home to Queens, study hard, and get a decent job productively serving your community/me a slice of pizza/whatever.

Here you'll find a video of Hated, the documentary about GG Allin. It's entertaining because it makes eminently clear just how fucking dead punk is. You probably don't want to watch this at work because of the large amount of nudity, piss drinking, and shit eating.

"I may be barely tall enough to see over the podium, but my cock is *this* big"

A little early in the morning to see something like this.

Actual David Lynch? Reall Funny. Fake YouTube David Lynch? Not So Much.

Hey YouTube, this shit fucking sucks. Why is it on the front page? Is fake David Lynch the nephew of a Google exec? WTF?

Gawker: Late to the Table and With Shitty Utensils

Gawker pathetically commented today on a story that was posted on the Times' "City Room" blog yesterday at 1 PM. What brilliant commentary took this supposedly major media blog 24 hours and 23 minutes to produce? Apparently the writer-subject of the story "sounds like an incredibly nice man."

Thumbs down.

Gawker Accellerates Descent to Right Wing Mouthpiece Status

Gawker Headine: "The Terrorists Win: Harvard Bows Five Times (And Once More To Be Safe) To Pressure From Muslim Students"

Gawker links to an op-ed in the Boston Herald that jumps on this "news" as an opportunity to complain about Harvard's track record of allowing famous Muslims to say bad things at the Kennedy School and even, gasp, take money from rich Muslims. An article in the same newspaper covers the "news" story with which the original Gawker "post" was concerned and clarifies as follows:

"The policy only applies to one gym.... Because of its location at the edge of campus, it is the university's least used gym...

"The women-only hours are of minimal inconvenience because they are just six out of the 70 hours a week the gym is open..."

Nick Denton's no poor/dummy; he knows that details such as these can get in the way of a well thought out agenda.

Credit for these quotes goes to Gawker commenter "La Cieca," who notably asks, "Since when did Gawker turn into fark.com?"

UPDATE:

DiSaronno Paparrozzo Blind Item: "Which big-domed gossip blog mogul and university-hating right-wing firebrand were spotted canoodling together in the public sex part of Central Park (that's the north part)?"

Answer: Nick Denton and David Horowitz

Gawker: Older, Fox-ier

"Denton or Murdoch?"

The last two times that I took on the once-funny-now-illiterate media internets site Gawker, I criticized it (1) for an apparent reason and (2) for pretending it still matters when a TV show airs.

Well ever since a geriatric business enterprise mogul took over as head writer, I knew it would only be a matter of time before Gawker's colors stopped running and this golden egg of a "Love it or Leave it!" type headline dropped in my lap. Seriously though Nick, leave the cheap swipes at naive actresses and "the French" for Bill O'Reilly and other wrong-kind-of-white-people. They are better at it than you. I'm outraged by the outrage.

Gawker Really Sucks Now

This link says it all.