Showing posts with label State of the Union. Show all posts
Showing posts with label State of the Union. Show all posts
Saturday, April 19, 2008
Monday, April 14, 2008
DiSaronno Fashionista: The Union Suit Edition
In this inaugural DiSaronno Fashionista post, we point you in the direction of a trend that is quickly heating up faster than summer posts about Summer '08 on this blog: the union suit.
As a testament to how popular this item is, note that this item is currently unavailable this amazon.com posting (this is probably due to the fact that so many people have ordered union suits that they have to ship more in from the Yukon and Pacific Northwest). So, if you can find another retailer that has one in stock, pick up a union suit as soon as possible. Your friends will all be jealous, curious, and furious that they didn't beat you to it (but don't worry, we won't tell them where you heard about this trend).
DiSaronno Fashionista: You may like the way you look, but I can't guarantee it.
Wednesday, March 5, 2008
MKULTRA: Conspiracy Theory, or Great Song?
Are you sick of all the bad news coming out of Washington these days? Are you looking for something good to come out of the Capitol? Do you have a fetish for videos where identical twin singers gets abducted as part of a government experiment? Exit Clov is here to help:
Thursday, January 31, 2008
Ice Cream Is Going to Save the Day Again!
I just want to dance with my shirt off. But since I'm at work, I need to once again torture the world with my nonsensical jibberish. Or at least post someone else's. This important notice is just in from my beloved roommate, ChaCha Gruffenstein.
GOVERNMENT HEALTH WARNING
DO NOT SWALLOW BUBBLE-GUM !!
DO NOT SWALLOW BUBBLE-GUM !!
Monday, January 28, 2008
Liveblogging the State of the Union
This summary of the speech pretty much sums things up: the union has a state, and that state is fucking great! Highlights of this riveting event are in bold.
9:09 - Long standing ovation coming to a close. I'm reading a magazine.
9:13 - Something about saving the economy by giving people $600.
9:14 - Heinous joke about taxes. Everybody on the right side of the aisle clearly fucks farm animals.
9:17 - Bush plans to balance the budget by vetoing earmarks and telling the executive branch to ignore actions by the legislative.
9:18 - Still nothing about steroids although there's something about housing.
9:19 - Hillary Clinton approves of what Bush is saying. Obama does not.
9:19 - Bush blames health care problem on victims of malpractice.
9:20 - Camera operator just fucked up.
9:21 - Bush promises to fund private religious schools. Christ smiles upon him.
9:24 - Free trade agreements will save us all from Chavez.
9:25 - Your job is outsourced? We'll teach you some bullshit. Clean energy.
9:26 - Fat old guy is falling asleep. Bush wants to invest in "nuke-u-lur" power.
9:28 - Everybody is clapping for more science.
9:29 - New stem cell research good. Old stem cell research bad (kills babies).
9:30 - Bush wants to ban human cloning. Bush pissed that his judges can't get through.
9:31 - Bush wants to fund more churches.
9:32 - Bush plans to respond to Hurricane "Katrina," which has apparently negatively affected New Orleans.
9:33 - Bush proposes Social Security reform at State of the Union speech.
9:35 - Bush inspired by liberated Iraq.
9:36 - Plans to fight "evil men" and terr'sts.
9:37 - More discussion of the motivation of terr'sts, which is their opposition to our message of hope and freedom.
9:38 - Increasing troop levels in Afghanistan will enable us to fight the terr'sts.
9:39 - Terr'sts also in Iraq. We plan to deny them sanctuary. Iraqis rejoice.
9:40 - Whole room claps for our troops.
9:41 - Sunni militias now our friends, fighting terr'sts.
This speech is awful.
9:42 - Joe Biden: lookin' good.
9:43 - Defeating militias = important. Terr'sts agree that the surge is working.
9:46 - Troops ain't cheap. Bush withdrawing them from Iraq.
9:47 - But withdrawal will not be 2 fast (or 2 furious).
9:49 - Free Iraq!
This article about avoiding office faux pas is more interesting.
9:51 - Condi looks skeptical about Bush brokering Israeli-Palestinian peace.
9:52 - Iranian population "talented." Iranian regime better stop their "nuke-u-lur" program or we'll do something about it!
9:53 - No terrorists attacks because we listen to your phone calls. Dubious claims about averted terrorist attacks.
9:55 - We need to keep listening to your phone calls or terr'sts will kill you. Also, phone companies that illegally spied on you best not get sued.
9:56 - Bush opposed to genocide, mentions Sudan once. Also, Cuba (?).
9:58 - Americans are a "compassionate people" because of our "faith."
10:00 - Started playing Sufjan Stevens on iTunes.
10:01 - Bush gives a lesson in constitutional history.
10:02 - "GOD BLESS AMeRiCA!!!!!!!!!!"
9:09 - Long standing ovation coming to a close. I'm reading a magazine.
9:13 - Something about saving the economy by giving people $600.
9:14 - Heinous joke about taxes. Everybody on the right side of the aisle clearly fucks farm animals.
9:17 - Bush plans to balance the budget by vetoing earmarks and telling the executive branch to ignore actions by the legislative.
9:18 - Still nothing about steroids although there's something about housing.
9:19 - Hillary Clinton approves of what Bush is saying. Obama does not.
9:19 - Bush blames health care problem on victims of malpractice.
9:20 - Camera operator just fucked up.
9:21 - Bush promises to fund private religious schools. Christ smiles upon him.
9:24 - Free trade agreements will save us all from Chavez.
9:25 - Your job is outsourced? We'll teach you some bullshit. Clean energy.
9:26 - Fat old guy is falling asleep. Bush wants to invest in "nuke-u-lur" power.
9:28 - Everybody is clapping for more science.
9:29 - New stem cell research good. Old stem cell research bad (kills babies).
9:30 - Bush wants to ban human cloning. Bush pissed that his judges can't get through.
9:31 - Bush wants to fund more churches.
9:32 - Bush plans to respond to Hurricane "Katrina," which has apparently negatively affected New Orleans.
9:33 - Bush proposes Social Security reform at State of the Union speech.
9:35 - Bush inspired by liberated Iraq.
9:36 - Plans to fight "evil men" and terr'sts.
9:37 - More discussion of the motivation of terr'sts, which is their opposition to our message of hope and freedom.
9:38 - Increasing troop levels in Afghanistan will enable us to fight the terr'sts.
9:39 - Terr'sts also in Iraq. We plan to deny them sanctuary. Iraqis rejoice.
9:40 - Whole room claps for our troops.
9:41 - Sunni militias now our friends, fighting terr'sts.
This speech is awful.
9:42 - Joe Biden: lookin' good.
9:43 - Defeating militias = important. Terr'sts agree that the surge is working.
9:46 - Troops ain't cheap. Bush withdrawing them from Iraq.
9:47 - But withdrawal will not be 2 fast (or 2 furious).
9:49 - Free Iraq!
This article about avoiding office faux pas is more interesting.
9:51 - Condi looks skeptical about Bush brokering Israeli-Palestinian peace.
9:52 - Iranian population "talented." Iranian regime better stop their "nuke-u-lur" program or we'll do something about it!
9:53 - No terrorists attacks because we listen to your phone calls. Dubious claims about averted terrorist attacks.
9:55 - We need to keep listening to your phone calls or terr'sts will kill you. Also, phone companies that illegally spied on you best not get sued.
9:56 - Bush opposed to genocide, mentions Sudan once. Also, Cuba (?).
9:58 - Americans are a "compassionate people" because of our "faith."
10:00 - Started playing Sufjan Stevens on iTunes.
10:01 - Bush gives a lesson in constitutional history.
10:02 - "GOD BLESS AMeRiCA!!!!!!!!!!"
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