Does Anybody Read This Shit Anymore?

Who Am I?

I had a plum sized tumor removed from my nasal cavity.

I originally moved to Hollywood to pursue a music career with my band, The Rubber Band.

I have a son named Jake. He is an actor.

In December of 1988, I suffered a near fatal motorcycle accident. Doctors feared that the head injuries would give me permanent brain damage.

I once said that "drinking your own blood is the paradigm of recycling."

I am _______________ ?

Who Am I?

I was born on June 13, 1953.

I have seven siblings.

On October 2, 1978, I was arrested for possession of 1.4 pounds of cocaine. To reduce my sentence, I ratted out several other drug dealers.

I was arrested for drunk driving in 1997.

I like to grunt.

I am Tim Allen.

I'm Working on Something Big

Riding on the coattails of this summer's hottest film (because without question it will be The Dark Knight), Robby Downy the Junior has decided to make a quick buck by capitalizing on the comic-book-turned-silver-screen super hero trend. Honestly, I didn't think the two movies could compare, but throw in Terrence Howard and Jeff Bridges to the Iron Man camp, and we have ourselves a competition. Sure, Iron Man has a bunch of flashy flame throwers, and he can fly, but could he really combat the hilarious lunacy of The Joker? He doesn't look unhappy enough. I am sure that the Prince of Pranks could make Iron Man's stoic face crack into a smile (he has never had such luck with Batman). So which movie will be better? I have to go with Batman, unless Downey & Co's film uses Ghostface's debut album as their soundtrack.

Defunct Forms of Humor - Dog wash and skullfuck, just 25 cents! Come get your dog wash and skullfuck! Just one quarter (use the coin slot in the middl

Update: The first post wins! Congratulations Anonymous, you have one a raffle ticket. However, since the winner was selected after the raffle drawing, you are automatically ineligable to win any prize.

Each year, DiSaronno Blog opens up its bandwidth to its beloved reader(s). This afternoon we are having a cartoon caption contest for the following picture:





A brief history of this picture: Nancy was a popular comic series from sometime in the 20th century. It is known for its strangely drawn characters, all of which having noses that do not come close to resembling anything human.

The winner (probably the only person that will reply) of this contest will be entered into a raffle to receive a free shot of gin tonight, courtesy of the Men's Steakhouse.*











The Men's Steakhouse: You're going to like the way it tastes. I guarantee it.

I Wonder Why . . .

He didn't wait 2 more days . . .

Haven't You Ever Heard of the Healing Power of Laughter?

The top 5 depictions of the Joker, as determined by me:

5. Cesar Romano: A very soft version of the Joker, Romano portrayed him as a prankster. Was almost booted out of the top five for not shaving his mustache; his redeeming quality was the commitment he showed to his facial hair.

4. Fred Travalena: You may be asking yourself who this guy is. To be perfectly honest, I still am not sure. Regardless, his marriage of Joker and Ronald McDonald antics from the 1989 Macy's Parade was just castrated enough to come in at #4.

3. Alexis Taylor: While the Hot Chip lead singer may appear mild mannered, their new video proves that looks can be deceiving. Received bonus points for having fluorescent green glasses in the video.

2. Heath Ledger: Always kind of thought this guy was a sissy until I saw him with a grin on his face. I am also pretty impressed with his character preparation, which included locking himself in a hotel room for 30 days and writing the Joker's thoughts in a diary. Kudos to you, Heath.

1. Jack Nichaulson: You have to love an actor that gets pissed off over not being asked to play a role 20 year after he first played it. The ultimate balance of wit, criminality, and make-up, he is able to portray the villain in a dark/humerous twist.

I'm only laughing on the inside, my smile is just skin deep.

If you could see inside I'm crying, you might join me for a weep.

UPDATE (1/22/08): To honor and remember Heath Ledger and his innovative portrayal, we have moved him up to 1.5th Place.