Wednesday, March 12, 2008

Live-Blogging Experiment

I was really bored yesterday afternoon, so I decided to start keeping a log of what my co-workers do during the day. This case study has proved utterly fascinating. Enjoy and check back for periodic updates:


2:00-2:35 pm - Office-mate talking with new secretary (lots of laughter so they’re probably discussing salads)

3:15 pm - I inform her that 1 in 4 teenage American girls have an STD. Go on to say that everyone has a trace of herpes in their systems. She boldly states she has no herpes, then stares out the window in a reflective manner. I inquire no further.

4:17 pm - “I need chocolate right now. I have to have chocolate right now.”

4:35 pm - return from chocolate excursion with secretary (appears content)


10:15-10:20 am - Orders gift basket for friend that works at Deutsche Bank. Makes sure to over-pronounce Deutsche. Asks for a small basket because she apparently received a similar one herself on Valentines Day, and it was too much. Caramel Creams discussed. “That was almost too much treats for me.” (hold in laughter and poop my pants a little bit)

10:40 am - I blow my nose really loud. I’m met with an immediate death glare.

10:55 am - Makes a comment about my second cup of coffee of the morning. I pray the caffeine will kill me.

11:20 - 11:53 am - Pep talk from my boss. Talk about heat, natural gas, and air-conditioning. HVAC is used repeatedly. Transition to basketball jargon and personal health/fitness. Co-worker remains quiet for 15 minutes. She pipes in about yoga to confirm that she is very athletic. I tell her I only run when I’m afraid. Boss laughs, she doesn’t.

12:01 pm - Calls local deli to inquire about what soups are on the menu today. Says “ok” and “mmhmm” after every soup is named (12 times). Immediately goes to inform secretary of her new knowledge. Secretary is excited!! (I’m secretly intrigued by what soups are on the menu. Stab my thigh with a pencil to make the thought go away).

12:56 pm - Arabic guy brings me some papers. He smells like Drakkar Noir. I'm intrigued.

1:14 pm - Loud crunching coming from the other side of the partition. I think someone's eating a cookie. Oh no, that'll be HOURS on the elliptical to work off!!

1:32 pm - Awkward elevator conversation with random woman from my floor. "Well, we don't have a governor anymore" (really loud at first but then trailing off into a whisper). five second pause "Yeah, I can't believe it." five second pause "He will be missed."

2:15 pm - everyone obtaining a marriage certificate is either completely over-dressed or under-dressed. Think prom dress or tracksuit.

2:45 pm - hey look, a rat in the Canal Street subway station

2:47 pm - wow, that's a full used diaper on the subway platform. Great!

4:07 pm - forwarded an article about a woman who sat on a toilet for 2 years. Amused and EXCITED! Office-mate talking with secretary again. I assume topic pertains to something feminine, like an itch

5:23 pm - have a loud cellular telephone conversation with a close friendo. Office-mate seems perturbed I didn't send out the last work-related email. I contemplate growing a moustache momentarily but then denounce the idea as ludicrous in the present moment. Maybe this summer. Maybe

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