Tuesday, February 5, 2008

DiSaronno Blog: The Psycadelic Years: a Mesage from Tyko McGee

This week's excerpt from Tyko McGee's upcoming novel (yet to be titled):

"Things sure got rough after I left Loveboops' Traveling Circus. My beloved Doheny Jones was not quite dead, but his mind had been reduced to the level of a luded out chimp waiting in line at a barber shop, and I could not forget the scar across his pelvic region. I felt like I had nothing left to give him, or the Circus.

Down on my luck, I went back to my old demons at Taco Bell. Somewhere between my third and fourth week of living in the handicap bathroom stall, an astonishingly beautiful maiden entered the men's room to take a leak. When she saw me peeking at her, she ran in, gave me a kiss, and two tablets of LSD. Just like that, I was transformed into Tyko McGee Lovechild Warkhawk, the menacingly hip hippie.

I followed Varnonica, the fair maiden, to the countryside, where we raised ducks and gathered more wandering souls to join our group, the Purgatory's Messengers. While never purely destructive, many of our recruiting techniques came into question by the FBI, so we escaped to Canada, where we gourged on Poutine and American Bacon.

Shocking, exclussive footage of what the Purgatory's Messengers may have looked like.

This was all magical until I woke up one morning, or it may have been the day after, I can't remember, I was in the midst of a massive Dayquill binge. Varnonica was gone, the rest of the Purgatory's Messengers had surrounded me and were about to beat me up for stealing all of their peyote, and worst of all, I had peed my pants in the midst of my trance-like state the night before. I somehow made it out alive, albeit wearing only an eagles shit (and no, not the band, it was a shirt with a picture of a bunch of eagles on it). I had to sneak around the forrest for weeks with no pants, underwear, or socks. Four cases of poison ivy and zero square meals later, I was able to cross the border, albeit illegaly, as I had given up my citizenship days before. I came back looking for some sort of stability in my life, the only stability I had ever known: Lietenant Loveboops."
Tyko McGee's autobiography is not completed. We allow him to post on a week-to-week basis. If you are a publisher and interested in funding/publishing Mr. McGee's book, please contact us.

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