Friday, January 4, 2008

Top 5 Worst Batman Villains

In descending order.

5. Clock King: I was expecting a picture of Flava Flav. You can imagine my disappointment when I discovered this villain was merely an old vampire-pimp version of Mr. Belvedere.



4. Captain Stingaree: As his last name suggests, he is insane. As his title suggests, he is a pirate. He is also in a secret relationship with fellow gay-pirate-villain Cavalier. Unfortunately, Cavalier is still closeted and has been blackmailed by super-heroes. That's right, our superheroes are now exploiting and defiling the lifestyles of our villains.


3. Signalman: After trying to make it big in the crime world, Signalman was laughed at due to his lack of reputation. Now he is determined to make a name for himself using the signs, signals and symbols that regulate society. I don't know what that means, but it sounds like he uses a heavy dose of reality to scare people sober.



2. Kite Man: "Kite Man was once seen defeated by accident when, in the middle of a brawl, Batman drew his fist back to punch a nameless and comatose thug of Two Face he deemed more of a threat. Kite Man was struck by Batman's fist and fell unconscious to the floor of Gotham Hospital, unnoticed by the Dark Knight." Yes, kites are for kids. No, they are not at all intimidating.


1. Crazy Quilt: Quite possibly proof that Jenkem is not just a recent phenomena, Crazy Quilt was introduced back in 1946. This Mad Artist leaves clues for his henchmen in his paintings. I still don't know what is more bizarre: that little factoid, or the combination/mismatch of this guys outfit and name. Wouldn't you think he would carry a quilt around with him? What does a quilt have to do with a painter? Maybe "Crazy Canvas" would be a more fitting name. Or, given his suit, "Bad Acid Trip." Also quite possibly proof that Bob Ross may not have been as harmless as we all think.

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

I have a top 10 list of worst batman villains. At least we agreed on Kite Man. Thanks for sharing these other crummy villains. ;-)

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