Top 10 True American Heroes of 2K7

(listed by: name, reason for fame, reason for award of hero status)

10. Fatima Bhutto - the estranged niece of the now dead Benazir Bhutto - for being hot



9. Justin Bobby - minor character on 'The Hills' - for some hilarious stupid shit he said



8. Balls Mahoney - professional wrestler - for feats of strength performed in the ring



7. David Lynch - non-prolific filmmaker - for his haircut



6. Tina Fey - writer of 30 Rock - for writing a hilarious show



5. Alec Baldwin - star of 30 Rock - for not being afraid to yell at his kids



4. Wikipedia - repository of human knowledge - for summarizing the plot of 'Inland Empire'



3. Michael Vick - animal lover - for loving too much



2. Dear Prudence - slate.com columnist - for convincing me not to jump



1. Michael Huckabee - dumb hick - for running for president despite lack of awareness