Greatest Drinker of Our Era?

Wade Boggs, Andre the Giant, and Gary Busey were already legends . . . before we found out about their precocious drinking habits. After delving deeper into their lurid backgrounds, it's tough to tell who was the most outstanding alcoholic. You be the judge America.


Boggsy:



The Giant:



Busey:

Rules Are Boring

Remember the good old days, when Taco Bell didn't have to worry about silly little "health department violations" for "rat infestations?" Well, I sure do. Nothing like a little TB to start your Saturday feeling fresh and fit. Back then, people didn't have to follow "the rules." You could still be considered a non-conformist, even though you were eating at one of the most popular food chains in the nation. But it didn't matter, because they still had three types of crispy tacos. Yep, those were the days.

ARE YOU READY FOR SOME FOOTBALL!

Very few songs have the ability to resonate with me so much that my bones rattle. While this is not one such song, I do admire the ability of Hank Williams (Jr.) to corner the Monday Night Football theme song market for nearly a decade (maybe a little less). Another interesting fact about this man? In 2006 he was arrested for the alledged assult of a woman in a Memphis hotel room. The case was later dropped. Another interesting fact about this man? He once broke every bone in his face during a freak mountain climbing accident. His brain was exposed to the open air. All the king's horses and all the king's men were eventually (9 surgeries later) able to put Hank together again.

Another Blog That Is Better Than This One

Grocery Eats is a blog that celebrates food by doing crazy shit with it and then eating it. Two examples of notes here are the BigMacChicken which is a low-carb combination of 3 McChicken sandwiches and one Big Mac, both from McDonald's. The photo below it is of a White Castle Burger being deep fried. Sounds amazing.

Check out the blog. While we here at Disaronno blog are sitting on our asses writing about other blogs, these guys are actually out there in the world doing something.

NYMag Hates Saving The Environment

According to New York Magazine's latest approval matrix, its writers think it's "despicable" to help the environment:

Shame on you, London, for trying to cut down on consumer waste. If we stop using disposable water bottles, what will we float on when the polar ice caps melt?

Darfur Victims Have Nothing On Joanna Cutler

I do not know how I am able to sleep at night when innocent rich people are suffering horrific inconveniences at the Plaza Hotel. How can the world just go about its day when Joanna Cutler was kept from her earthly conveniences for hours. I shed a tear for this poor woman and call for someone to set up some kind of fund in her name to prevent this from happening to any other idiots in the future.

I also weep for something else. I weep for the paper, ink and energy used to write, print and deliver this story no one could possible give a shit about.

My wife, who's I-talian, got four DiSaronno bottles. She's classy like that.

Fuck the last picture, this one is way better.

Di Saronno Muckraker: Barrelling Down the Memory Hole

The New York Observer is a minor paper, and fitfully so. Whatever the retraction policies of its print edition, its Real Estate blog clearly lacks integrity on this front. It has failed to properly notify the public of a retraction, perhaps ignorant of the power of internets magic to unearth their manipulative deception.

Compare this post about Parker Posey selling her East Tenth Street apartment and moving to 30 Fifth Avenue with this google cache of the same page. The key difference is the following sentence:

"Surmounting the real estate slump and the writer's strike to move uptown... sounds like the stuff of Hollywood."

Clearly this "Real Estate blogger" knows nothing of NYC geography and is incapable of using finding an address on a map. 30 Fifth Avenue is at the intersection of Fifth Avenue and Tenth Street, you Real Estate Retard. Clearly the Observer has realized their mistake, but their failure to print a retraction only compounds my outrage. Parker Posey moved crosstown, yes, but nary a block uptown. Consider yourself DiSaronno Muckraked, Observer.

When "The Dog's" Away, The Ice(heads) Come Out to Play

More than ever, crime in the 50th state has become more disgusting than an Ala Wai Canal cesspool after a flood. Violent crime is on the rise, as witnessed by a man trying to throw a security guard out of a 26th floor apartment. What could cause this spike in crime? No, it's not the warm weather. On the contrary, it's caused by ice. Apparently the following public service announcement did not reach Hawaii:



What does Hawaii need to combat this problem? Hawaii needs the hoarse words of wisdom of America's favorite bounty hunter. Yes, Duane Chapman's unique blend of tough justice, compassionate proselytism, and excessive cigarette smoking once graced the islands, and criminals were able to learn from their mistakes.

However, The Dog has been through some self-inflicted adversity. His comments brought on well-deserved castigation, causing A & E to cancel his show. The Dog was put in the position that his fugitives face, and was presented with the arduous task of achieving redemption through learning from his sins.

Luckily for Mr. Chapman, there were people who saw through his character flaws and were willing to give him a shot to regain his good name. It appears as though a growing number of people believe that he has changed. Perhaps more accurately, it should be recognized that Mr. Chapman's years and years of work repairing damaged communities in Hawaii and Colorado are a testament to the man's commitment towards social harmony.



It appears that A & E has undergone some change itself. The network has decided to give Mr. Chapman a second chance, once again unleashing the "Dog 'do" in the Sandwich Islands. Hopefully, Dog and his family-based team of bounty hunters can help teach some of the more troubled Hawaii residents that there is much merit to the term "cook rice, not ice."

Daily Dose of Tomfoolery

Don't mess with the bull unless you want the horns people:

YouTube can't fix your washing machine

good thing you don't have one! but i do, in addition to a dryer and dishwasher and dinosaur egg incubator (what can i say, brooklyn is cheap). I was doing a free load of laundry in my apartment when I noticed extra water remained in the washing machine after a cycle. I googled around for an explanation/solution and stumbled across this website, which warranted my public dissemination. It's called fixya, and you can search it for a particular electronic item you're having trouble with (e.g. the model of your cell phone or espresso machine), or you can search for a problem that needs fixing (I typed in "washing machine clothes still wet"). There are "experts" who provide solutions to various problems, and it appears you can post new problems to get fixed. Now don't say i never gave you nothin!

oh, and I don't know what about the discharge makes it "funny."

Gary Busey Doesn't Do Shout-Outs

But he's still a winner in my book!