Disaronno BlogFinder: News Channel Blog Edition

http://newyorktwo.blogspot.com/

New York Two has been giving amazing editorial about New York's favorite news station since 2009. You're going to like the way it's written. I guarantee it.

BREAKING NEWS AT THIS HOUR: Brooklynvegan Commenters Called Out for their Ignorance by DiSaronno Connoseiurs

Link (the comment that starts with "You should read more.")

A Proud Moment for Australia

Bonus Caption Contest for the above picture.



Australia has long been known as the underappreciated step-brother of both the U.K. and the U.S.A. Sporting emerging bands such as Muscles and the Midnight Juggernauts, the country has the ability to make people of all shapes and sizes get ready for the floor. Equally impressive has it been in producing good film and actors giving the world such actors as Mel Gibson (pardon his racism and alcoholism), Nicole Kidman, Naomi Watts, and Heath Ledger (R.I.P.).


It came as no surprise, then, when last year I unearthed what I can only call the sleeper for best film ever (forget Citizen Kane, Casablanca, Apocalypse Now, and Point Break): yes folks, I am talking about Aussie Park Boyz.





As the poster shows, this film has it all (except for and third, and, debatabley, a fourth comma for the tagline), including a cameo by Duane "The Dog" Chapman (FYI - after several viewings, this cameo appearence has yet to be spotted by myself, or any other viewer thus far). You will note, incidentally, that the plot synopsis is empty on the film's IMDB page. This is not by mistake. If the film had a plot, there would be a synopsis. Much like this blog, it appears to be an amalamation on incoherence, though in the case of Aussie Park Boyz, this train of stupidity takes on the form of fight correography and a tale of love.


One viewer's commentary seems to sum up the movie quite well:


"I have been analyzing Aussie Park Boyz, and figured out what is so strange about it. Most movies do not so vividly recreate the fight frequency of video games. Think about Fists of Fury, Double Dragon, etc. You fight about 5-10 bad guys, move on to the next screen, then fight 5-10 more, with absolutely no story of why you are fighting them. On top of that, there is always extremely intense music playing in the background of these video games. That is Aussie Park Boyz, only you are not controlling the main characters, so it’s just frustrating." (taken from Cinema Strikes Back).


Much like Sean Connery's masterpiece Zardoz, I found it very helpful to read about the film before viewing, and then again after; only then can you fully piece together what you have just viewed, and only after this can you fully appreciate how much of a waste of time watching this movie actually was. So go on, pick this movie up at your nearest rental agency (or anywhere that actually has a copy of it) and dig in.

A Word From Tyko McGee - The State of the Blog

Dear DiSaronno Blog,

STOP! Your comment battles for each post are both annoying and a wasted effort. You should be using your time to make more posts, not inane banter about each post. That is like smelling the jenkem for an hour; everyone knows that the jenkem loses its potency after the first huff, so don't sit there smelling your shit if it's not going to make you trip balls. I would love it if you could make more posts about The Wire, I love that show. Don't live blog anymore, because it makes me sad that I am not watching TV with you.

Love,

Tyko McGee

Whiner Gets a Great Fare to Paris, Whines on the Internets

Though Pakistan International Airlines offered Gothamist commenter "famdoc" a fare of only $149 from NYC to Paris, apparently this complainer was pissed at the lack of silken robes and other such princessly amenities:

The plane was 12 hours late. They bused us to a sleazy motel in Queens where they served us frozen food. Although they indicated they would then put us up in a hotel, they made us believe the plane would be ready sooner than expected, so they bused us back to JFK. Eight sleepless hours later, we boarded a smelly, dirty aircraft that was stuffed to the brim with luggage and people, most of whom were going on to Karachi. Every few hours, the pilot indicated the time and the direction of Mecca and most of the passengers got out of their seats to pray. The on-board entertainment was Ben Hur. Seriously.
The food was reheated, frozen Pak.
The toilets overflowed.
Most of the passengers did not share my concern for cleanliness and use of deodorant.
Diapers were not changed. When they were, they were left out to dry.

Get over it whiner!