The best way to celebrate the month of August...

Have a parade

Top 5 Non-Video Game Toys From the Early '90s

Because really, who wouldn't put Nintendo/Sega Genesis/Super Nintendo/Gameboy/Video Game Watches on this list. We needed a little more diversity.

5. Micro Machines: Perfect tiny little cars that were smaller than Hot Wheels, so they were easily lost. Also, who could forget this fast-talking guy on the Micro Machines commercial?

4. Skip-it: The fact that this was popular is further proof that children often behave in a similar manner to someone who is stoned. Flashing lights, repetitive jumping, and an ankle monitor? Sounds like something invented by this guy.

3. G.I. Joe: Really, this spot goes to several action figures (Battle Beasts Voltron, and T.M.N.T. among others). Some of these were not from the early '90s, but still deserve credit for making so many boys play with "action figures" that were really just dolls disguised as tough looking characters. Regardless, they were a lot of fun.

2. Koosh Balls : Really, who didn't have one of these? Who ever thought that a day-glow, rubber-tentacled version of a simple ball could infatuate so many people? It did have two drawbacks: (1) when wet, the rubber filaments would stick together; and (2) the rubber filaments would often get stretched out, thus becoming nonuniform in length.

1. Nerf Gun (any type): It was always so much fun annoying your friends by repeatedly shooting the Nerf darts at them, knowing very well that you could not hurt them, but you could drive them to want to hurt you. The drawback was that the darts would often get bent, and thus shooting accuracy was compromised.

Before There Was Borat...

There was The Continental:


via videosift.com

Ni-ice!

Just Plain Awesome

Take a break from Luigi Disaronno's rants that no one ever reads and watch this great video!


Mentos Boosts Confidence With Ladies - Watch more free videos

Dance or Die

Last night a few of the boys were able to get out and show our support for the American debut of Yelle. After a few shots of gin, a few high lifes, an order of fish and chips and a half bbq pulled duck sandwich later, I finally reflected upon how utterly spectacular this concert was. With the help of Luigi and Kerri, I will now attempt something no one has ever bothered to try before: retrospective live blogging. The concert went something like this:

6:44 P.M. - Arrive at Welcome to the Johnsons, give my ipod to the bartender to play for the entire bar. Sit next to a gentleman with an amazing mustache.

7:38 P.M. - Arrive at my apartment, get ready for the show (i.e. put on the most hipsterish outfit I own).

8:32 P.M. - After squeezing into my jeans, we squeeze into an equally tight cab. Cab driver, amazingly enough, speaks perfect english, and even suggests a shortcut that works to get us there faster.

8:46 P.M. - We arrive at the show. Kap10kurt is about to perform. They perform and it is pretty awsome. The venue does not have DiSaronno, so Luigi is forced to pour warm gin into his throat. Kerri joins in the fun.

9:52 - P.M. Anticipation is mounting for Yelle. Now there no space left anywhere, and there are a lot of people that do not appreciate me carrying 4 PBRs with me. It's 92 degrees and I still have my jacket and scarf on. I take off my scarf, never to see it again (Alexis, I lost it. It was NOT good looking out on my part).

10:01 - P.M. Silence. Then all of a sudden, Yelle jumps out on stage and starts singing Tristese Joie. The peasants rejoice. If you don't like her then you probably don't like life.

10:40 P.M. - It's hot as fuck in here. Don't know how much longer I can be in the front row. I snap a picture from my phone for good luck and head to get a cup of ice to rub over my face.

10:52 P.M. - I think there was shot of tequila sometime around here.

11:29 P.M. - Start heading out of the show. Decide to get a midnight snack at Grace (see the food items listed at the top of this post). Delicious.

It's Cougarific!!!

Let's put aside all the mediocre pop culture references and sub-par caption contests and think about those who really inspire us. Those who get us out of bed each morning, (literally). I'm talking about those we can learn so much from- mostly because they have graced God's earth many more years than we have. I'm not talking about that 18 year-old bimbette you're waiting for outside the Paramus High School study hall. I'm talking about the Woman with a real job and a real apartment and sometimes real children. Yes, ladies and gentleman, I am talking about the Cougar. The perfect Cougar is the unicorn every 20-something year old male is looking for to complete his life, to teach him the ways. That is all.


How to catch a Cougar