DiSaronno Newsflasher

GUESS WHAT AMERICA!

DiSaronno Blog is once again breaking all the rules of conventional blogging. We now have two polls up AT THE SAME FUCKING TIME! CAN YOUR MIND HANDLE THAT! Make sure to vote in both exciting polls, to see if we will put up a new third poll.

The stakes have never been higher! Make sure to exercise your right to vote here on DiSaronno Blog!

Caption Contest

If you can somehow incorporate both pictures into one caption, then your response will be twice as likely to win the $grand prize$.

Wednesday Morning Caption Contest

In honor of baseball season, and yes, that is A-Rod. GO!

What is everyone in this picture thinking?

Winner will not be chosen until MONDAY!. To whom much time is given, much is expected.

Yeah, so I got tricked into buying a $3000 llama named Bianchi off Afghani eBay. So what? I'm just going to put it to sleep and buy in person

"I may be barely tall enough to see over the podium, but my cock is *this* big"

A little early in the morning to see something like this.

I'm the decider, and I say it didn't look good on that there coffin!

"A long, long time ago... Chewbacca fucked Princess Leia and had a son."

I don't know, just write a caption.

"Mommy WOW! I've got big tits now."

Winner will not be chosen until tomorrow. Enter today, brainstorm all night, check back in the morning to see if you win!

EDIT:

Runner up entry:

"What's your hottest sex fantasy?""Depends.""On what?""Preferably on an obese, bespectacled sack of shit like this guy.""Oh I get it. Yeah that's pretty hot."

I flunked phy-ed so now I'm stuck in this stupid quantum physics class!

At first I thought this would be an easy one, but the more I think about it, it is.

"Fatless Shrugged"

This looks a lot like "Toast" French, the world's fastest clapper.

"Talk to my man Eliot Spitzer. He will hook you up with a top quality hooker."

A nice counterpart to the recent Hillary/Chelsea caption contest. Luigi can no longer claim this is a sexist blog.

"I think the hook up for my boat to the four wheeler's in the shed...i'd rather kiss you long and thoughful on those thick lips"

Hey! Remember when everybody loved to make fun of mullets? Guess what? It's still funny, just not quite as popular. I figured I'd give the "hairstyle of the gods" a shout out, since it's been so good to me through the years (i.e., the three days I had a mullet in high school... and then another three days in college). So go on and relive it. Feel free to share your favorite mullet.

"when santa has whiskey dick, who will come down the chimneys of all the children??," or "aw yeah baby, who wants to be santa's little helper?"

The best caption wins the title of this post. The worst caption wins a romantic night with Santa.

Update: It's a tie! This historic event will be celebrated by the co-winners co-headlining the post title in true Rocky and Bullwinkle form.

My wife, who's I-talian, got four DiSaronno bottles. She's classy like that.

Fuck the last picture, this one is way better.

"No Mom, DO NOT grab your nose. We'll be out of this crowd of brown Asians in a minute."

The winner so far... Keep 'em coming!

Tuesday Morning Caption Contest!

















I thought this photo was cute.

Ohhh man, this x is giving me crazy visuals right now

Yep, that's a little glimpse of my ball you can see there!

Let's see what you've got America

Winner: While You Were Sleeping

Describe your sex life with a movie title. Winner gets a box of saltines and a pack of lamb-skin condoms.

Caption Contest From the Future