I'm the decider, and I say it didn't look good on that there coffin!

With Malice Toward None; With Charity For All, I Want To Take You To the Gay Bar

Happy 199th Birthday, Abraham Lincoln. We miss your legendary honesty. Courtesy of La Mongoosette, check out our greatest President's second inaugural address. For comparative inferiority of rhetoric, take a look at Slate's comprehensive collection of Bushisms that make Yogi Berra sound like Marcus Tullius Cicero.

In cinema news, Steven Spielberg's next film will be a biopic of our beloved sixteenth President. One of the screenwriters is prominent presidential scholar and Harvard Professor of Political Science, Doris Kearns Goodwin, married to former presidential speechwriter for the Kennedy and Johnson administrations, Richard Goodwin. Sound promising? The other writer is Pulitzer Prize-winning playwright Tony Kushner of Angels in America fame. Oh, and Liam Neeson is rumored to play Honest Abe.

All that said, no man is a god, nor should we worship any as one. To help reinforce this caveat against idolatry, watch Electric Six's uncensored music video for "Gay Bar" and try to maintain that untarnished image of Abraham Lincoln in your head.