My Christmas-Day Review of "Jennifer's Body"

Three and nine-tenths stars. Better than Juno.

Le Pouuutteeeen The Stranger

In the morning, I left you next to the burning lake. I ignited it. The gasoline was heavy to carry.

burning lakes, burning rivers, all very cleveland.

We took the first train out of there and loaded our shotguns. I had no shells. My partner, do you have any philosophical shells to load my gun? Also, I need water. The clock is ticking.

You need to decide. My love or yours.

My love.

Yours?

No, my love. I'm in trouble. I stayed behind. I've got a machete. And they won't let me on the train with a blade.

Just wait. I'll let you know the sick part of my mind in Brussles.

We've been to Brussels.

Breaking News At This Hour!!!: Newest Pouteen Already Converted to Movie Format

Le Pouteeen 12 4 10

Rihanna: Hello, aviary captain of sea flows.
Jason Statham: Come on, let's take those pants and sweaters off that mannequin.
R: We had some fun times under the covers. I hid some C-4 beneath the bed. Can't wait for it to explode.
J: Trust me. It already exploded. Nobody knew except us. Colourful fucking explosions., Period.
R: Hey, guy, let's figure out ourselves in terms of our bodies. In terms of plane tickets. Tickets for Caracas and a connecting flight (Montreal). I have a girlfriend there that can hole us up for a quick joint.
J: I've thought about these things at length. It turns out that one cannot find a decent organic fruit betwixt the places one finds coconuts in that Brazilian part of Brussels. Brussels. Brussels. Brussels. Something.
R: I strapped the TNT to the lambo waiting outside of that shit hotel. Can't wait to jump off the tower. Watch me. (MAN FALLS)
J: Okay, I guess. Okay.

Krampus

Bakstorie